Don’t keep your talents to yourself! Silence Your Inner Critic With Mary Cheyne.

Don’t keep your talents to yourself! Learn how to silence your inner critic and make the impact you were born to create. Mary Cheyne rejoinsDon't keep your talents to yourself! the Technology = Equality Community for episode #74 to share tips and tricks on how to silence your inner critic! Mary Cheyne, 2009 World Championship of Public Speaking 1st Runner-up, of 25,000 contestants from over 14 countries, is helping you to face your fears, silence your inner critic and live your dreams. Mary originally joined us for episode #71 to discuss the ‘pink elephant’ public speakers don’t discuss. If you missed it, click here to check out episode #71.

Today Mary is a public speaking coach and author of the Amazon best-selling book “Present Yourself In Public Speaking”. Listen in as Mary and I dive even deeper into how your inner critic is holding you back and how you can overcome it. Then join Mary and I, in Woburn, MA this weekend December 9th & 10th for Mary’s 2-Day “Present Yourself In Public Speaking” Boot camp!

Don't keep your talents to yourself!

“Keep moving forward in spite of your fear!”

~Mary Cheyne

Register Today!

Don’t keep your talents to yourself!

Download this episode (right-click and save)

Silence Your Inner Critic With Mary Cheyne.

Strategy: Be aware of the resistance you feel in life. The resistance can often signal something you should address in life. Keep a journal to release your inner critic and use your “Best Friend” voice to change your thought process.

Wisdom: You’re not alone, ‘Imposter Syndrome’ happens to many people. It is a completely common concern amongst men and women, young or old. Listen in to learn the five major categories of how your inner critic communicates.

Wish: Mary wants to help you silence your inner critic so you too can be empowered to live your dreams too! Don't keep your talents to yourself!

Tools: Mary’s Best Selling Book

“Present” Yourself in Public Speaking – Tell Your Inner Critic to SHUT UP! And the Real You to SPEAK UP!

Reach Out Via:

Mary’s Calendar

Click Here to book a 20-minute Discovery call with Mary to see how she might be able to help you.

Mary’s Website

www.MagneticPodium.com

Don't keep your talents to yourself!

Full Transcription and Timestamps: 

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and so if that ever comes up for you or

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if you're hearing it now and you can

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relate to it and you go oh my god that

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totally happened to me from Boston

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Massachusetts you're listening to the

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technology equals equality podcast

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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welcome back to the technology cause

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equality podcast I'm your host Lori

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Brooks and this is episode 74 I am very

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pleased to welcome public speaker author

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and coach Mary Sheen back to the show

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Mary originally joined us for episode 71

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to discuss the pink elephant in the room

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the public speakers don't speak about

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this week Mary is back to show you how

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you can begin silencing your inner

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critic - Mary welcome back and thank you

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so much for joining us again today thank

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you Laurie I am so excited to be back on

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I have you back on you are a ginormous

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part of this journey of mine over here

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at this point Mary for my listeners sake

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if you didn't get that chance to check

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out that episode as I mentioned a moment

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ago you should check it out as I have

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shared that I did have the opportunity

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to read Mary's book and I am super

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excited about my own public speaking

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journey as I have just before we started

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recording this episode enrolled in

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Mary's upcoming boot camp in December so

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Mary I'd love for you to develop you

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know a little bit more about the boot

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camp as we kind of get into this episode

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a little bit further but what I'd like

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to kind of do is take it back to what we

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were touching base on as I was

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registering was kind of that fear that I

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was dealing with taking that next step

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in my own journey because I'm positive

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that it's a fear and a feeling that a

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lot of entrepreneurs come across that

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hesitation of investing in themselves or

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taking that next step on their journey

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or getting on a stage or hosting that

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webinar there's that that pops up that

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makes you hesitate so I was sharing with

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you the reframe and and what I was

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working on my

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so and I'm just curious what have you

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found to be the most common fear that

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you've come across with clients

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great question wonderful wonderful

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question there are many different fears

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that we have when as human beings when

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we step outside our comfort zone okay I

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think your listeners are probably

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like-minded like you and I said they

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probably heard that by now but how I

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want to break that down and unpack it

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for people so that there's a more

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nuanced understanding of how to combat

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your own fears when they come up is

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always work on noticing what your

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internal dialogue is all right because

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thoughts lead to emotion and how you

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feel so paying attention to how you feel

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when the fears come up and then asking

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yourself what is actually causing this

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fear right and so one of the most common

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fears is to answer your question more

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directly is in terms of public speaking

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especially is I don't want to look

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stupid

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or something around that genre that

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theme of stupidity right so I don't want

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to feel stupid I don't want to look

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stupid I don't want to appear stupid and

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that is one of the most common

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underlying themes of why people avoid

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public speaking or when they do somehow

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have to do it or feel like they need to

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do it that fear is there with them as

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they open their mouths for the first

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time on the stage behind the scene so

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it's nothing like a consciously thinking

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I don't want to look stupid anyone looks

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stupid it's a subconscious fear that's

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lurking just behind it so that just

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behind the the surface on the periphery

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and that's why there's this more obvious

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fear around well I've got to be probe

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eggs I hope I prepare enough I hope I

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don't say anything that's gonna

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discredit myself and very closely

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related to that fear is the what I've

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noticed with the clients and people that

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I work with and you know as you know

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you've read my book I talked about it at

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length in my book is this fear of being

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found out

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okay so what that means is the impostor

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syndrome you may have heard of this many

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people have not right but there's this

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common concept out there called the

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impostor syndrome and I can tell you and

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so what that means is you know in a very

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high level is whatever you're doing

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whatever your the value you're providing

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to the audience or however you show up

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to help the audience there's a feeling

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in the background of I'm just faking it

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I'm not really a you know X Y or Z

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whatever you're doing in life whoever

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you are representing I'm not really that

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I'm not really an expert on this topic

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and so that becomes a fear in itself of

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being found out okay so first of all

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that is a very common thing that happens

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for people and so if that ever comes up

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for you or if you're hearing it now and

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you can relate to it and you go oh my

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god that totally happens to me then just

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first of all know that it's normal that

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it comes up for many many people just

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the fact that you're a human being and

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the fact that you are stepping outside

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your comfort zone and whatever that

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looks like for you that will come up or

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that a similar fear will come up is the

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fact that it's the new effect that you

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are outside your comfort zone there's as

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part of your brain that kicks in that

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tries to keep you safe right that keep

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you safe don't go out the comfort zone

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you know this is perceived threat but

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something's going to happen to you so

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this fear is not something that you want

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to suppress or wish that it wasn't there

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or there's something wrong with you

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because the fear is there no the idea is

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to notice it when it comes up and it's

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normal and then to proceed in the

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direction that you choose because you

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know you're growing and you know you

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want to take next step in this direction

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whether it's contributing more or

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stepping up your game whatever that

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looks like for you and in public

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speaking it usually means speaking

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outside of your comfort zone so in other

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words if you were used to say speaking

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in front of a group of you know five to

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ten P

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Paul about a topic that you're very very

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familiar with so your next level of

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comfort zone might be speaking in front

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of 50 to 200 people in a new topic right

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a topic that you want to contribute but

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you haven't you're not very practiced in

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giving that topic and so that isn't by

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nature outside of the comfort zone

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because there's something new right so

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anytime you endeavor in presenting

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something new or stepping outside your

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comfort zone in any kind of sense

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whether it's a new skill you're learning

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or you're endeavoring to have your own

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business now for the first time you know

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creating a new area of business you

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haven't created before anything like

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that that's outside your comfort zone

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the idea is notice when the fear comes

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up and because you know for sure that's

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the direction you want to travel you

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want to notice that internal dialogue

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and the fear and then moving forward

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despite of that fear that is the trick

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my friend and that is worth if you can

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do that and you can do that consistently

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and internally coach yourself to not let

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the fear stop you from taking the

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antigen that is the Holy Grail right

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there definitely it's about making sure

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that you take the actions whatever that

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that fear that hesitation is felt I tend

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to notice or recognizing myself that

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there's something that I need to follow

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through with there something that I need

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to move forward with it's not

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necessarily the easiest thing to go

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about recognizing you're noticing do you

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find that there are more female clients

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versus male clients do you think that

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there's a difference in the way females

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versus males approach this sort of

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hesitation or the fear that's a great

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question and I would I think it's both I

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think there are commonalities and there

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are slight differences as well the

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commonality being the baseline is

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whether you're male or female we have

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one thing in common and that is that

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were all humans right so as human beings

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we definitely share the same mechanics

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of how when we are endeavoring to do

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something new learn something

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and oh it's going to be those awkward

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moments at the beginning and you know

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that that in itself is a commonality

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between men and women now if I had to

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separate them and I talked a little bit

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about this in my book about the

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differences between men and women

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especially when it comes to dealing with

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public speaking is there are some

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biological differences between men and

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women and the way the way I described it

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in the book is for men

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the primary chemistry I guess is

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dominated by testosterone right there's

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this dark side you know quote-unquote

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dark side of testosterone is violence

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when there's too much of it there's

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there happens to be the violence right

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for women were wired differently just by

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nature and that our predominant chemical

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is estrogen right the way women socially

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bond traditionally is through nurturing

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each other right

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the nature of nurturing each other and

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then the dark side quotient again the

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dark side of how females function is the

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the tendency to exclude okay so for

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example and this is and you know this is

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not me me creating this it's very well

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known this is the phenomenon that you

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would see in movies or in books like

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this is a movie for except me and girls

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and there's plenty other examples like

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that and a book called queen bees and

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wannabes right it's a very well known

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phenomenon and and women as we grow up

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well maybe when we get to between years

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the teenagers were experience this in

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the peer pressure where it's the

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exclusion happens in the form of which

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is nice I'm not your friend right and so

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there's this exclusion that happens and

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so because we're wired that way there is

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this tendency for women to to have the

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predisposition to want to be like yeah

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00:10:52,949 --> 00:10:58,259
and so what that means wanting to be

256
00:10:56,009 --> 00:11:00,620
liked the opposite of that is not

257
00:10:58,259 --> 00:11:03,980
wanting to be ousted

258
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not wanting to be rejected and I'm sure

259
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:08,549
Lori if you would ask any

260
00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:10,799
your female listeners they either have

261
00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:12,420
experienced it themselves somewhere

262
00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:13,799
along their growing up journey or they

263
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:17,369
know of somebody close to them who's

264
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:21,149
experienced being ousted right and I

265
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:22,980
myself have as well many times if I was

266
00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:26,249
showing this story with my one of my

267
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:29,309
friends in the fifth grade I was dumped

268
00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:30,839
by my best friend okay and that if

269
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:33,959
you've ever experienced it it's not a

270
00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:38,759
pleasant feeling and so there is this

271
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:39,959
tendency now to unconsciously want to be

272
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liked right

273
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not wanting to be disliked and so the

274
00:11:42,029 --> 00:11:47,759
way it manifests in public speaking for

275
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:50,730
example is being consciously aware that

276
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:53,100
you're not there on the stage to be

277
00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:55,350
liked I mean it's my preference to be

278
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:57,420
liked and I'm you know it's great if you

279
00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:59,129
in during my audience and whatever I say

280
00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:01,619
resonates with you know oh I like her

281
00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:03,959
that's great that is my preference but

282
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:06,329
the purpose my primary purpose is being

283
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:08,489
in the stage is not for you to like me

284
00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:10,739
because I will say things that will

285
00:12:08,489 --> 00:12:12,869
probably wake you up in some way maybe

286
00:12:10,739 --> 00:12:15,389
even a little controversial maybe to you

287
00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:17,189
know trigger you deliberately so that I

288
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:18,720
can wake you up to these insights or

289
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:21,720
concepts that I'm trying to share with

290
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:24,059
you and so if my primary concern while

291
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,529
I'm the stage is to be light then that's

292
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:28,290
going to hold my whole back my

293
00:12:25,529 --> 00:12:30,239
expression right and so you know and not

294
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,619
to say that men don't have that men as

295
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:33,360
human beings also you know would like to

296
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:35,819
be liked as well nobody I don't think

297
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:38,129
ever consciously just gets up that just

298
00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:40,769
not to be light but yeah that is a

299
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:43,079
slight difference in the way we're wired

300
00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:46,019
as men and women and in my experience I

301
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:49,739
work with both men and women men also

302
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:50,759
have a similar and I want to emphasize

303
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:54,269
this point because I think it's

304
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:57,540
important also have the as human beings

305
00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:59,699
the fear of being rejected as well even

306
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:02,189
if it's more unconscious than

307
00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:05,160
subconscious and then the women however

308
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:06,600
they're not as what I've noticed in the

309
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:11,730
people that I work with they're not

310
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:14,759
necessarily as open about sharing those

311
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:16,799
fears right but once it's put on the

312
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:19,170
table once it's out there in the open

313
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:21,630
then you say oh yeah I have that

314
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:24,690
- and yes I have that - so I think it's

315
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:26,430
it is women are more susceptible to it

316
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:30,800
but men are definitely not exempt from

317
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:34,500
it in fact probably equally subjected to

318
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:35,760
the the same phenomenon but not as we

319
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:39,720
stress about it

320
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:42,959
it's just that it's not as commonly

321
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:45,540
discussed or as commonly recognized -

322
00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:48,959
that perception that recognition of it

323
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:51,120
may not be as available as it is to

324
00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:55,800
those who are looking or consciously

325
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:58,380
aware of their intent or interest in the

326
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:01,399
statement as you said you know the need

327
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:04,380
to be like right right yeah this is some

328
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:06,959
perception I need to look up his name

329
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,820
but there's this author a seeker who

330
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:11,490
talks about this at length and I learned

331
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:15,480
from him through his experiences that

332
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:17,870
the way men grow up is is more of a if

333
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,860
you were to share your feelings with

334
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:22,230
somebody like in your in your male

335
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,699
bonding group then it there is a high

336
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:26,550
chance that it could be perceived as a

337
00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:28,949
weakness you see and so that's why many

338
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:32,040
men don't share and end up bottling it

339
00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:33,870
up and you know in many ways that's

340
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,430
that's it's going to manifest the quirks

341
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:37,769
are going to manifest differently right

342
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:39,510
author about that that side of things -

343
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:42,360
mint which I can't speak to you cuz I'm

344
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:45,180
not one well no that's wonderful what

345
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,490
we'll do is we will put a link to either

346
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:50,130
his youtube channel or his website along

347
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:52,589
with the info about the bootcamp on the

348
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:54,180
show next page for the listeners and and

349
00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:56,610
links so that they can check them out

350
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:59,459
thank you for sharing that I know fear

351
00:14:56,610 --> 00:15:02,550
was really big player during your

352
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:05,970
journey as an entrepreneur and becoming

353
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:08,519
a speaker but I'm curious about whether

354
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:12,180
or not you feel like fear was also the

355
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:15,839
biggest player when launching your own

356
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:17,430
coaching firms so magnetic podium what

357
00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:19,260
do you feel was the difference between

358
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:22,079
the two and what if there was a

359
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:25,769
difference that is a great question I

360
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:28,800
think fear is a part of everyday life

361
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:30,269
and a fear is a part of the common limit

362
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,760
now Lee that we experience as human

363
00:15:30,269 --> 00:15:35,370
beings so it will be pervasive

364
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:38,130
you know whether it's whether it was me

365
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:40,250
learning to be a better speaker or me

366
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:43,260
launching my own business that

367
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:46,380
definitely is a commonality that that I

368
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:48,420
do have to get through in platoon to

369
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,770
continue launching the business and so

370
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,810
it's a training and communications

371
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:55,050
company with a coaching side of it as

372
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:57,000
well one-on-one coaching and how I now

373
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:59,250
describe it is its transformation or

374
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:04,980
public speaking so in other words it's

375
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:07,800
not necessarily addressing its core

376
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:09,270
purpose is not to address the just the

377
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,770
mechanics of speaking because I started

378
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:13,320
to notice that in the public speaking

379
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:15,150
training education world out there and I

380
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,520
myself through my journey have taken

381
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:21,120
many many many public speaking courses

382
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:24,360
and training courses and the gap that I

383
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:27,180
perceived when I started teaching public

384
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:30,320
speaking back in 2009 it became very

385
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:32,400
obvious to me that people's number one

386
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,440
obstacle that got in their way of

387
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,450
becoming the best most self-express

388
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,940
speaker that they can be what held them

389
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:40,890
back wasn't the mechanics which is what

390
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:43,110
was being taught so what I mean by

391
00:16:40,890 --> 00:16:45,030
mechanics is things like how do you

392
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:47,580
stand how do you use your voice how do

393
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:49,380
you structure a speech how do you what

394
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:51,870
is the message all of that is important

395
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:53,820
but was what was not being addressed was

396
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:57,150
pink elephant in the room so to speak

397
00:16:53,820 --> 00:17:01,560
which is the inner critic yourself right

398
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:03,870
so when you went so when I was creating

399
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,640
courses and writing my book about the

400
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:07,680
whole process of what I teach you how to

401
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:12,570
conquer your own inner critic it became

402
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:15,140
very readily apparent to me that if I'm

403
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:18,660
not myself constantly and consistently

404
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:21,690
working on my own inner critic and and

405
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:24,420
being able to identify it when it comes

406
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:27,959
up in proceeding despite of it then I

407
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:30,360
have no credibility teaching it okay so

408
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:32,150
as I was launching my company around

409
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:34,440
this concept and around what I teach

410
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:36,510
there is also something that I was

411
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:39,420
watching right what is my own inner

412
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:41,610
critic saying right now as I am

413
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:42,990
endeavoring to launch this business as

414
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:45,210
I'm you know building out the next

415
00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:47,169
components of my business and even in

416
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:49,510
writing the book

417
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:51,220
this all came up so it's fascinating

418
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:55,059
that you asked this question because the

419
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:58,120
fear that doesn't always come manifest

420
00:17:55,059 --> 00:18:00,100
itself as APU right right it's funny a

421
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,740
lot of the times actually it doesn't

422
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,899
manifest as an obvious like you're not

423
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:07,600
literally sitting there going I'm scared

424
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:10,269
right now right don't manifest that way

425
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:13,929
how how it's sometimes and often does

426
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:17,440
manifest is notice there's this internal

427
00:18:13,929 --> 00:18:19,539
resistance that happens right Steven

428
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:23,409
Pressfield who's a very well-known

429
00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:25,960
author he talks about this as well and

430
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:27,940
then and it's the equal and opposite

431
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:30,639
it's almost like there's two opposing

432
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:33,340
forces that's happening within us so one

433
00:18:30,639 --> 00:18:35,080
is we want to survive right as human

434
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:37,570
beings obviously we don't die we want to

435
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:40,320
survive so that's one force and then the

436
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:43,000
opposite force is we also want to grow I

437
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:45,429
want to grow as human beings we want to

438
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,110
evolve as human beings and what does

439
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:49,690
that mean that means we have to step

440
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:52,090
outside our comfort zone so these two

441
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:54,159
equal and opposite forces are happening

442
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,510
at the same time so I want to grow yeah

443
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,860
I want to grow and then you step outside

444
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:59,260
your comfort zone you're like oh no I

445
00:18:56,860 --> 00:19:01,450
need to survive I need to get back into

446
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:04,269
my comfort zone so these two opposite

447
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:06,940
forces are always working against each

448
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:09,190
other and it's not a good thing it's not

449
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:12,490
a bad thing it's a neutral thing to

450
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:14,529
notice and understand within our souls

451
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:17,200
because how it manifests on a daily

452
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:18,789
basis is for example if you are let's

453
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,230
say building out a new component to your

454
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,639
business you've never done it before or

455
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,870
you're working on a new speech a new

456
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:26,289
presentation that you've never given

457
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:28,929
before and how it comes across inside

458
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:30,399
how did a dialogue if you were to notice

459
00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:33,639
within yourself might be something like

460
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:35,710
oh I really don't want to do this right

461
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:38,350
now and it reveal I'd are such a hard

462
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:41,049
work I'm never gonna get this finished

463
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:44,620
right so that in itself is putting

464
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:46,929
dialogue into what that feeling is right

465
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:49,240
that feeling is always hard and I'm

466
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:51,549
gonna do it now I don't feel like it I'm

467
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,860
sure all of your listeners can relate to

468
00:19:51,549 --> 00:19:57,639
that and you're like oh that feeling of

469
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,880
hardwood that pushed that that that the

470
00:19:57,639 --> 00:20:01,760
the

471
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:05,030
distance of you know getting into motion

472
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:07,220
you got to really set yourself on this

473
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:09,650
path of paths in your own universe

474
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:13,070
aright like divine path the initial

475
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:15,740
inertia yes having that asset of minds

476
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:18,050
that have in that and momentum why I'm

477
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:21,970
saying that in relation to your question

478
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:25,220
is to the few doesn't always necessarily

479
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:27,470
come across as recognizable scariness

480
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:30,170
it's a lot of the time its internal

481
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:32,720
resistance right so yeah absolutely in

482
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:36,950
everything I do when it's new whether it

483
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:41,000
was creating my business or or launching

484
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:44,240
a new pod business that comes up that

485
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,490
that internal resistance comes up and so

486
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:49,250
yeah absolutely knowing using the same

487
00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:53,270
processes that I teach my clients to get

488
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:54,710
over those internal resistance is you

489
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:57,370
know what I'm about and what I love to

490
00:20:54,710 --> 00:21:03,800
share with people because they work

491
00:20:57,370 --> 00:21:06,770
we're not doing them they would no I

492
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:09,770
agree they do work you know once you

493
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:11,900
address it take that recognition of it

494
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:16,000
and then address it in some way shape or

495
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:19,040
form you will see differences you know

496
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,900
mindset is one of the largest hurdles

497
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,240
that most people tend to face during

498
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:24,950
their journey I'm curious whether or not

499
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:28,670
you find there to be some sort of

500
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:31,670
recurring language or specific phrases

501
00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:33,170
that people tend to use when you're

502
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:35,210
working with clients so in other words

503
00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:37,100
throughout your client base do you find

504
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:39,710
that there's a resounding fear that

505
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:41,450
everyone tends to have Lori that's a

506
00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:42,950
great question and here's how I'm going

507
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:45,050
to answer that I'll give you an example

508
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:47,810
I think there's a really good way of

509
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:52,490
illustrating it when I was writing my

510
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:54,350
book all right and it's a process to

511
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:57,110
write a book and anyone who's written in

512
00:21:54,350 --> 00:22:00,800
their book will know this it takes a lot

513
00:21:57,110 --> 00:22:02,750
of discipline to be able to finish the

514
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,580
book right it's one thing I think the

515
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:07,190
statistic is I forget the exact number

516
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:08,630
but it's really high number it's like 90

517
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,920
something percent of people want to

518
00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:11,360
write a book or one day would love to

519
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,809
write a book but yet the percentage of

520
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:15,600
people that actually do and publish

521
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:18,980
the book is very small and I believe

522
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:21,779
it's it's due to this phenomenon isn't

523
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:23,999
having the tools to deal with your own

524
00:22:21,779 --> 00:22:25,320
internal resistance around doing

525
00:22:23,999 --> 00:22:28,169
something and following through with

526
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,450
something so how I do that during the

527
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:32,580
book writing process and I think this is

528
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,499
a process that anyone can take to use

529
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,809
around anything whether it's writing a

530
00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:42,769
book or learning something new is to

531
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:45,480
have what I call a practice around

532
00:22:42,769 --> 00:22:47,249
debunking firstly noticing what the

533
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,919
little voices are that's coming up the

534
00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:51,840
internal resistant voices and then a way

535
00:22:49,919 --> 00:22:53,669
to get you out of it to take action

536
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,649
anymore because it sounds like very

537
00:22:53,669 --> 00:22:58,830
theoretical right so here's how I

538
00:22:55,649 --> 00:23:01,409
implement it on a practical basis all

539
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:03,450
right take any piece of paper or even a

540
00:23:01,409 --> 00:23:06,269
word document which is what I use during

541
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:09,149
my writing process as a very specific

542
00:23:06,269 --> 00:23:12,330
example I would make myself sit there

543
00:23:09,149 --> 00:23:14,580
every single weekday morning between you

544
00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:17,190
know it's like 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.

545
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:19,350
I'm gonna spend one hour writing part of

546
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:23,700
this book all right and so I would sit

547
00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:26,669
there and start noticing those internal

548
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:29,100
resistant voices that come up and each

549
00:23:26,669 --> 00:23:31,080
one that came up I would literally go to

550
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:33,450
my word document and type it out in

551
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,999
bullet points I won't get this done on

552
00:23:33,450 --> 00:23:38,580
time there's so much writing I'm never

553
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:41,279
gonna finish it there's a long way to go

554
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:43,860
right I won't be able to do it like

555
00:23:41,279 --> 00:23:46,619
whatever it is I didn't make them wrong

556
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:48,539
I allow them to come up and all I did

557
00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:49,919
was document them and just by the type

558
00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:51,869
type type site okay that's what's there

559
00:23:49,919 --> 00:23:54,179
right now tak tak tak tak so in the

560
00:23:51,869 --> 00:23:57,119
middle of the word document I would draw

561
00:23:54,179 --> 00:23:59,220
a line on the other side of the document

562
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:02,460
next the bullet points that I had just

563
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:04,499
listed it would be what would my best

564
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:06,330
friend say to me what are the empowering

565
00:24:04,499 --> 00:24:09,090
voices that my best friend would say to

566
00:24:06,330 --> 00:24:10,559
me if I went to her with this concern so

567
00:24:09,090 --> 00:24:12,299
for example I want to get it done on

568
00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:14,369
time there's not another so much writing

569
00:24:12,299 --> 00:24:15,929
I'll never finish it if I took this

570
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,970
concern to my best friend she would say

571
00:24:15,929 --> 00:24:20,690
and I literally wrote this down in

572
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:23,220
bullet points you're making progress

573
00:24:20,690 --> 00:24:25,529
rome wasn't built in a day

574
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:26,640
anything worth writing is worth spending

575
00:24:25,529 --> 00:24:30,600
time on

576
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:32,820
focus on baby steps moving forward and

577
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:36,059
then once I got all that out I was like

578
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:38,760
oh my lip my state of mind literally

579
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:40,980
shifted from I can't do this I can't do

580
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,900
it oh yeah you're absolutely right yeah

581
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:46,280
that's so true and then I would switch

582
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:46,280
back to the other page and start writing

583
00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:53,820
yeah so that is a very simple simple

584
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:57,420
methodology that you you your list you

585
00:24:53,820 --> 00:24:59,730
and your listeners can use to get

586
00:24:57,420 --> 00:25:03,030
yourself out of that loop that little

587
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:05,690
loop that that tends to we sit in like a

588
00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:08,970
little cul-de-sac that we're sit in and

589
00:25:05,690 --> 00:25:10,919
stew in and not be able to take action

590
00:25:08,970 --> 00:25:13,110
you say with what I'm saying it's it's

591
00:25:10,919 --> 00:25:16,799
just very it's a very practical way of

592
00:25:13,110 --> 00:25:18,600
doing it and so what I ended up doing at

593
00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:19,980
the end of it let's see how long did it

594
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,600
take me to write the book until it was

595
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:23,070
ready for editing probably six months

596
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,530
right approximately six months until I

597
00:25:23,070 --> 00:25:27,000
finished the first draft of the book or

598
00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:29,490
until it was ready for a professional

599
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,010
editor to look at right and so during

600
00:25:29,490 --> 00:25:34,590
the six months as you can imagine that

601
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:36,360
word document of the little voice

602
00:25:34,590 --> 00:25:38,400
internal resistance voice versus the

603
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:42,840
best friend voice that document became

604
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:44,940
very very long long right and because

605
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,440
even if the same voice came up from

606
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:47,970
yesterday from the day before I didn't

607
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,620
care I didn't look at it and go oh it's

608
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:52,230
a duplicate voice ocean write it down no

609
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:54,330
I wrote it down anyway but at the end of

610
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,190
that six month process right this is

611
00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:59,400
where my nerdiness comes across because

612
00:25:56,190 --> 00:26:03,000
I'm constantly trying to figure out

613
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:05,490
tools and processes of how I can get

614
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,260
over my own conquer my own internal

615
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:09,360
resistance so that I can create what I

616
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:12,419
need to contribute into the world and I

617
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:15,510
know that I am the biggest hurdle in my

618
00:26:12,419 --> 00:26:17,040
own biggest barrier of what I can

619
00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:19,080
produce like the ideas that I have

620
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:22,080
versus an being manifested physically

621
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:25,309
out into the world these barrier and so

622
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:27,870
I am the person to figure out how to

623
00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:30,360
conquer my own inner resistance when it

624
00:26:27,870 --> 00:26:32,460
comes up so this long long long word

625
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,230
document that ended up having as a

626
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:35,880
result of writing down my little voices

627
00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:38,700
and bestfriends voices every single day

628
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,210
of my writing I talked I went through it

629
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:43,090
meticulously

630
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:43,840
and categorized all of the little voices

631
00:26:43,090 --> 00:26:47,020
okay

632
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:50,890
and then here's what I found I found one

633
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:53,740
two three four five categories the five

634
00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:56,890
categories then I noticed the inner

635
00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:58,960
critic voices came were in the form of

636
00:26:56,890 --> 00:27:01,690
and if like if I had to put them under

637
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,300
umbrellas they would be grouped this way

638
00:27:01,690 --> 00:27:08,650
the first category out of the five is

639
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:10,510
overwhelm you feel very overwhelmed so

640
00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:13,150
the example to answer your question the

641
00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:16,300
example common little voices that would

642
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:18,700
come up as a part of feeling overwhelmed

643
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:20,860
is I don't want I won't get this done on

644
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:22,480
time there's so much to do what are you

645
00:27:20,860 --> 00:27:23,650
but I'm finisher there's such a long way

646
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,080
to go I'll never finish it

647
00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:28,780
so that's overwhelm it never got this

648
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,380
done right that's overwhelm the second

649
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:34,170
category is it's too hard it's too

650
00:27:31,380 --> 00:27:36,760
difficult the challenge is too great so

651
00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:39,040
the how it manifests is the little voice

652
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,320
saying the internal dialogue saying I

653
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,910
won't be able to do it I can't do it I

654
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,960
don't know how I just can't it's too

655
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:46,030
hard right

656
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,970
that's the second category the third

657
00:27:46,030 --> 00:27:54,910
category is that the internal dialogue

658
00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:57,490
attacks your own credibility okay so as

659
00:27:54,910 --> 00:28:00,100
an example the the internal dialogue

660
00:27:57,490 --> 00:28:03,010
might sound like this oh my god what if

661
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:05,620
I say this is all BS Oh what I'm saying

662
00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,790
is BS this is so good enough my writing

663
00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:07,720
is not good enough or whatever it is

664
00:28:06,790 --> 00:28:09,160
you're working on it's not good enough

665
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,720
this is BS and no one's ever gonna pay

666
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,550
attention to this what value do I have

667
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,460
to bring to the world this is this is

668
00:28:12,550 --> 00:28:17,170
nonsense right so noticing that that's

669
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:20,830
third category if it's attacking your

670
00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:22,330
own credibility okay and again I would

671
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:23,830
like to ask you and your listeners to

672
00:28:22,330 --> 00:28:26,710
see if you can relate to this and I'm

673
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:29,680
pretty sure you can the fourth category

674
00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:32,620
is the resistance to the work itself

675
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:36,490
okay so what that would sound like an

676
00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:38,320
internal dialogue would be good and I

677
00:28:36,490 --> 00:28:40,600
feel like doing the work right now I

678
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,940
didn't really feel like it do I have to

679
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:45,430
do it I just want to go out and have fun

680
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:46,930
I just want to watch TV I just want to

681
00:28:45,430 --> 00:28:48,520
have chocolate I just want to whatever

682
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:50,200
whatever exfilling the bank

683
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,630
I just want to XYZ I don't want to do it

684
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,530
right now so that's the resistance to

685
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:57,550
the work it's

686
00:28:53,530 --> 00:28:59,500
okay and in the last category is similar

687
00:28:57,550 --> 00:29:02,290
to attacking your own credibility but a

688
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:05,290
little bit more sharp a little bit more

689
00:29:02,290 --> 00:29:08,950
deep deep which is attacking your own

690
00:29:05,290 --> 00:29:09,850
self-worth yeah so it's like what's

691
00:29:08,950 --> 00:29:11,680
wrong with me

692
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:13,780
no one else seems to be struggling like

693
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:18,400
I am I am I need anyone who found it

694
00:29:13,780 --> 00:29:22,140
hard with me oh my god I was wrong so

695
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:27,100
it's literally attacking your self-worth

696
00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:29,410
right so this is from lots and lots of

697
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:31,300
examples of the data and when I and I've

698
00:29:29,410 --> 00:29:34,000
shared this with many many people since

699
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:36,490
and every person I've shared it with can

700
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:39,520
relate to most if not all of these

701
00:29:36,490 --> 00:29:41,410
categories right and so the idea to

702
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:44,290
answer your question in a very very long

703
00:29:41,410 --> 00:29:45,940
format is absolutely there are common in

704
00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:48,130
a critic internal voices that come up

705
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:50,710
all the time related to our fear related

706
00:29:48,130 --> 00:29:54,820
to our internal resistance and if you

707
00:29:50,710 --> 00:30:00,310
can relate to any of that no it's a

708
00:29:54,820 --> 00:30:02,110
human thing I love it no you're not the

709
00:30:00,310 --> 00:30:03,910
only one and I love those five

710
00:30:02,110 --> 00:30:06,520
categories that you provided the

711
00:30:03,910 --> 00:30:08,590
overwhelm it's too hard not good enough

712
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:11,080
resistance and so forth they're

713
00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:13,000
definitely all very relatable categories

714
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,130
that you know I'm sure entrepreneurs

715
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,250
across the board experienced in one way

716
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:19,990
shape or form I think what I thought was

717
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:21,490
most impressive about what you were

718
00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:23,770
stating just now to kind of want to

719
00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:26,110
rewind to you're expressing you know

720
00:30:23,770 --> 00:30:29,860
while you were writing the book how you

721
00:30:26,110 --> 00:30:32,050
just kept moving forward by using the

722
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:34,960
journal by using that document by

723
00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:37,330
creating the momentum with it not even

724
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:40,120
to look back to see if you've written up

725
00:30:37,330 --> 00:30:42,220
before debating on how many times you've

726
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,860
written this little voice down it didn't

727
00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:48,040
matter the point was to get it out to

728
00:30:44,860 --> 00:30:50,170
get it out and keep the momentum flowing

729
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,460
so I just wanted to kind of bring us

730
00:30:50,170 --> 00:30:54,070
back to that because I thought that was

731
00:30:51,460 --> 00:30:55,930
really important and kudos and Congrats

732
00:30:54,070 --> 00:30:59,320
once again on the book I absolutely

733
00:30:55,930 --> 00:31:01,870
loved it and can't wait to get to the

734
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:04,060
boot camp Mary I'd love for you to share

735
00:31:01,870 --> 00:31:06,280
you know once again a little bit about

736
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:06,759
what the boot camp will be like what

737
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,009
your

738
00:31:06,759 --> 00:31:13,269
to share there I'd like for you to also

739
00:31:09,009 --> 00:31:15,729
share your motivation why it is that you

740
00:31:13,269 --> 00:31:18,489
do what you do and why it is you're so

741
00:31:15,729 --> 00:31:20,619
excited to host this upcoming boot camp

742
00:31:18,489 --> 00:31:23,229
a great question thank you for asking so

743
00:31:20,619 --> 00:31:25,059
I have a 2-day boot camp it's a public

744
00:31:23,229 --> 00:31:28,089
speaking boot camp in here in the Boston

745
00:31:25,059 --> 00:31:30,519
area that I'll be holding it's on

746
00:31:28,089 --> 00:31:32,769
December the 9th and 10th is a Saturday

747
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:36,009
and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. so you

748
00:31:32,769 --> 00:31:38,079
get two full days of immersion if you

749
00:31:36,009 --> 00:31:40,749
liked what you heard already on the

750
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:42,699
podcast that is just a fraction of some

751
00:31:40,749 --> 00:31:45,339
of the things that I cover during the

752
00:31:42,699 --> 00:31:47,829
work in the boot camp so day one of the

753
00:31:45,339 --> 00:31:51,639
boot camp we spend a lot of time on the

754
00:31:47,829 --> 00:31:54,009
inner self so your internal dialogue of

755
00:31:51,639 --> 00:31:56,079
what's holding you back and what's

756
00:31:54,009 --> 00:31:58,749
keeping you from owning your full self

757
00:31:56,079 --> 00:32:00,639
expression as a public speaker and so

758
00:31:58,749 --> 00:32:03,059
day one will really spend a lot of time

759
00:32:00,639 --> 00:32:06,009
working on that looking at you and

760
00:32:03,059 --> 00:32:07,539
looking at the processes and guiding you

761
00:32:06,009 --> 00:32:09,719
through the processes and there's a lot

762
00:32:07,539 --> 00:32:12,819
of coaching that I do with you as well

763
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,739
so that we can have you have a

764
00:32:12,819 --> 00:32:18,399
transformational experience around

765
00:32:14,739 --> 00:32:20,529
public speaking and they one is what I

766
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:22,749
was talking earlier before how most

767
00:32:20,529 --> 00:32:25,959
public speaking training are missing

768
00:32:22,749 --> 00:32:28,089
nobody talks about the how do you

769
00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:30,489
address the internal dialogue that comes

770
00:32:28,089 --> 00:32:32,619
up that disempowers you during public

771
00:32:30,489 --> 00:32:35,259
speaking or even in preparations for a

772
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:37,839
presentation right so that we address in

773
00:32:35,259 --> 00:32:39,969
detail on day one day two of the

774
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:42,519
bootcamp is more to do with the

775
00:32:39,969 --> 00:32:44,499
mechanics however it's more than just

776
00:32:42,519 --> 00:32:47,079
the regular mechanics you hear about we

777
00:32:44,499 --> 00:32:50,259
dive into engaging storytelling how do

778
00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:53,169
you get your point across in the form of

779
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:55,359
a story so that you get the point across

780
00:32:53,169 --> 00:32:59,440
without boring people keep them engaged

781
00:32:55,359 --> 00:33:01,809
and they feel entertained so the idea is

782
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,029
having edutainment which is a

783
00:33:01,809 --> 00:33:06,459
combination of education and

784
00:33:04,029 --> 00:33:08,769
entertainment the more fun your audience

785
00:33:06,459 --> 00:33:10,059
has the more fun you have the better

786
00:33:08,769 --> 00:33:11,949
they're going to remember the content

787
00:33:10,059 --> 00:33:14,079
the more it's going to sink in anyway so

788
00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:16,419
we look into that we also look at the

789
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:20,550
human psychology of how to influence

790
00:33:16,419 --> 00:33:22,890
people and how we can as presenters

791
00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:25,740
use that so that we can influence our

792
00:33:22,890 --> 00:33:28,440
audience to action so we dive a lot into

793
00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:30,240
that on day two and why is it two days

794
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,390
in a row because then it gives you the

795
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:36,230
immersive experience and you are there

796
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:38,640
for my goal my intention is giving you a

797
00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:40,410
transformational experience not just of

798
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,990
public speaking but your own

799
00:33:40,410 --> 00:33:45,390
relationship to yourself and how you

800
00:33:42,990 --> 00:33:47,190
relate to public speaking so that when

801
00:33:45,390 --> 00:33:48,690
you come out of it you'll never think of

802
00:33:47,190 --> 00:33:51,420
public speaking the same way again

803
00:33:48,690 --> 00:33:54,000
okay so the idea is to empower you and

804
00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:55,620
give you the tools necessary to send you

805
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,080
on your way to become an amazing speaker

806
00:33:55,620 --> 00:34:01,440
and to answer your second question why

807
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,670
do I do what I do there's a that's a

808
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,820
great question because I think we should

809
00:34:02,670 --> 00:34:08,400
all start with the why and when I look

810
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:11,010
at my Y as to why I'm doing business

811
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,919
this is actually just one step of the

812
00:34:11,010 --> 00:34:15,840
larger vision that I have public

813
00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:17,970
speaking is definitely a huge component

814
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:20,070
of that and that's where my own

815
00:34:17,970 --> 00:34:21,870
credibility lies in terms of having

816
00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:23,970
conquered my own fear of public speaking

817
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:25,590
and now putting it out into the world in

818
00:34:23,970 --> 00:34:29,130
a bigger way than I have been in

819
00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:31,679
previous years of my life such as

820
00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:33,630
putting that book out such as these boot

821
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:35,880
camps such as doing many more podcast

822
00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:38,040
interviews and getting the word out

823
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,929
about you inner critic and how we all

824
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,110
have the common fears and all have that

825
00:34:39,929 --> 00:34:45,149
internal negative dialog to separate

826
00:34:43,110 --> 00:34:47,550
ourselves from it because one one big

827
00:34:45,149 --> 00:34:49,140
part of the solution is to notice it and

828
00:34:47,550 --> 00:34:52,080
then to distinguish it so that there's

829
00:34:49,140 --> 00:34:54,960
space between you and that negative

830
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:57,330
internal dialogue and within that space

831
00:34:54,960 --> 00:35:01,620
then you can choose right I feel like

832
00:34:57,330 --> 00:35:04,560
this is a fundamental skill that is not

833
00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:07,260
taught in schools it's a fundamental

834
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:09,450
skill that's not taught in many families

835
00:35:07,260 --> 00:35:12,030
I certainly did not learn it from my

836
00:35:09,450 --> 00:35:13,860
parents and it was a skill that I had to

837
00:35:12,030 --> 00:35:15,830
learn it because I was dealing with

838
00:35:13,860 --> 00:35:19,560
these difficulties in everyday life

839
00:35:15,830 --> 00:35:20,970
which I needed to have tools to be able

840
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,890
to deal with it and move forward and

841
00:35:20,970 --> 00:35:25,320
contribute to the world what I need what

842
00:35:22,890 --> 00:35:27,780
I'm here to contribute and I feel like

843
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:30,720
it's a right for everyone to know how to

844
00:35:27,780 --> 00:35:32,910
do this for themselves oh and I feel

845
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:33,500
very strongly that I was put on this

846
00:35:32,910 --> 00:35:36,920
planet

847
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:39,440
to help contribute in that way to teach

848
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:41,660
and to educate people on how to empower

849
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,760
themselves so this public speaking

850
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:46,010
component is a huge part of that going

851
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,920
forward for example I'm working on my

852
00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:51,410
third book which is just a way of how do

853
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,900
I mean writing and speaking these are

854
00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:56,510
just mediums right mediums for what a

855
00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:58,190
mediums to communicate a message so the

856
00:35:56,510 --> 00:36:00,740
what and what is the message right the

857
00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:02,300
message is and what I'm working on now

858
00:36:00,740 --> 00:36:05,320
in creating and putting out into the

859
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:08,630
world on a larger scale is how to

860
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:10,940
process your own emotions so that you

861
00:36:08,630 --> 00:36:12,410
can process them in an empowering way

862
00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:14,840
and in a healthy way

863
00:36:12,410 --> 00:36:17,090
that brings you out to bring whatever

864
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,820
your gifts are into the world in a

865
00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:22,670
bigger way and I feel like this is my

866
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:24,170
passion it's my calling even though it

867
00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:29,060
sounds really glamorous right all it's

868
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:33,830
my calling it really is in some ways

869
00:36:29,060 --> 00:36:35,450
it's almost a burden right because it's

870
00:36:33,830 --> 00:36:37,070
great when the motivation sounds like

871
00:36:35,450 --> 00:36:38,810
yeah I'm totally gonna bring this out

872
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:40,850
into the world yeah I'm totally gonna do

873
00:36:38,810 --> 00:36:42,620
that but then once the motivation leaves

874
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:44,390
as it always does because it comes in

875
00:36:42,620 --> 00:36:46,790
ways when you're at the bottom of that

876
00:36:44,390 --> 00:36:49,250
motivation curve now now it appears like

877
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:51,050
now I've got to do this thing right I

878
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:53,840
can't go back to those internal

879
00:36:51,050 --> 00:36:54,860
resistance voices so noticing that and

880
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,980
still bringing it out into the world

881
00:36:54,860 --> 00:37:01,010
because I'm so clear for myself it's an

882
00:36:57,980 --> 00:37:02,180
inner internal intuitive knowing that

883
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:05,030
this is what I'm meant to do right now

884
00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:07,010
and bringing that out into the world is

885
00:37:05,030 --> 00:37:08,600
what keeps me going because you know I

886
00:37:07,010 --> 00:37:12,170
look at my clients I look at the people

887
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:13,910
that I work with that takes what I teach

888
00:37:12,170 --> 00:37:15,910
them takes the processes that I teach

889
00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:20,330
them that I guide them through and

890
00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:21,950
totally owning it and totally embracing

891
00:37:20,330 --> 00:37:23,930
it as their own and then seeing the

892
00:37:21,950 --> 00:37:26,540
results that they produce in their world

893
00:37:23,930 --> 00:37:28,730
in this era life that's what keeps me

894
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:31,190
going because ultimately it's not about

895
00:37:28,730 --> 00:37:32,810
me I'm just a medium through which this

896
00:37:31,190 --> 00:37:34,280
message is coming through and when I can

897
00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:36,380
see the results that my client has

898
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,730
produced for themselves that's what

899
00:37:36,380 --> 00:37:39,710
makes it rewarding for me that's that

900
00:37:37,730 --> 00:37:43,520
that's what keeps me going and motivated

901
00:37:39,710 --> 00:37:46,070
it's really important to be able to see

902
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,680
the changes that you're capable of

903
00:37:46,070 --> 00:37:49,350
created

904
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:52,980
in others in order to keep that momentum

905
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:56,220
going but having the ability to reframe

906
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:58,980
and deal with the personal internal

907
00:37:56,220 --> 00:38:00,780
dialogue and those pieces for yourself

908
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,220
from watching those changes occur for

909
00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:04,740
others I think it's something that

910
00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:07,140
probably really does help you in terms

911
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:09,390
of that momentum and moving forward the

912
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:11,460
ability to witness those change if you

913
00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:14,790
could wave this magic wand and rid

914
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:16,740
everyone of their inner critic what do

915
00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:19,880
you think the impact would be for the

916
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:23,670
public speaking industry as a whole

917
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:26,790
hmm great I feel like there are so many

918
00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:30,150
gifts that that we have like yourself as

919
00:38:26,790 --> 00:38:32,280
well as the listeners and many people

920
00:38:30,150 --> 00:38:33,690
even know what those potential gifts are

921
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,450
that they have to offer to the world and

922
00:38:33,690 --> 00:38:38,700
then to bring that out into the physical

923
00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:40,590
world and manifesting that you know in

924
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,810
ways that other people can use or in in

925
00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:45,150
ways that that contribute value to the

926
00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:47,910
to the community to the world to people

927
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:50,250
outside of themselves whatever those

928
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:53,100
gifts are then those are just going to

929
00:38:50,250 --> 00:38:56,130
be manifested I had this someone mentor

930
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:57,240
that used to say the you know I'm gonna

931
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:58,620
paraphrase because I don't remember the

932
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:00,210
exact phrase but it's something along

933
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:02,160
the lines of you know what is the

934
00:39:00,210 --> 00:39:04,260
richest place in the world you know is

935
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,510
it the the mines in Africa you know

936
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:08,790
dying where the diamonds are no is it

937
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:13,110
where the gold is no the richest place

938
00:39:08,790 --> 00:39:15,380
in the world is cemeteries and and and

939
00:39:13,110 --> 00:39:20,220
the reason he mentioned that is because

940
00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:23,670
he says how many books were not written

941
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:25,890
how many songs were not composed how

942
00:39:23,670 --> 00:39:29,370
many businesses that could provide value

943
00:39:25,890 --> 00:39:31,020
were never created because the people

944
00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:32,190
were in their own way and you know how

945
00:39:31,020 --> 00:39:33,810
to get out of their way and so those

946
00:39:32,190 --> 00:39:36,480
books were not written that song was not

947
00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:38,580
written so all of the resources all of

948
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,170
the things that we could that we could

949
00:39:38,580 --> 00:39:43,500
as individuals bring out into the world

950
00:39:40,170 --> 00:39:45,330
did not get put out simply because we we

951
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:47,250
either didn't know how to get our own

952
00:39:45,330 --> 00:39:49,260
ways or that inner critic was so

953
00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:51,300
prominent we didn't have processes to

954
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:52,380
get around it and so it wasn't your

955
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:55,890
gifts weren't shared with the world

956
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:57,510
right and so with that magic wand if

957
00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:59,790
everybody could just get rid of the

958
00:39:57,510 --> 00:40:01,890
inner critic and and or at least

959
00:39:59,790 --> 00:40:04,260
how to get around that said it doesn't

960
00:40:01,890 --> 00:40:07,320
stop them anymore the world would look

961
00:40:04,260 --> 00:40:10,350
like a very very different place I was

962
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:12,360
reading recently and that I forget the

963
00:40:10,350 --> 00:40:15,510
exact percentage but it was a very very

964
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:17,820
high percentage of how many people who

965
00:40:15,510 --> 00:40:19,860
are employees in the corporate world are

966
00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:21,540
dissatisfied and disengaged with their

967
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:22,830
own jobs they're there for the Paycheck

968
00:40:21,540 --> 00:40:24,660
they're there just for that you know to

969
00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:27,300
make a living and they're not living

970
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:29,520
their dreams whether the dream is a

971
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:31,380
business or not right the inner critic

972
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:36,240
will get in the way of you manifesting

973
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:37,830
that so I think that by having by by not

974
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:41,370
allowing the inner critic to get in the

975
00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:43,860
way will then give you the space to be

976
00:40:41,370 --> 00:40:45,870
able to pursue those things that you

977
00:40:43,860 --> 00:40:47,640
feel are important in the world and you

978
00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:49,170
feel that that make you happy

979
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:54,650
you know the things that bring you joy

980
00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:58,380
that bring you bliss and if you can now

981
00:40:54,650 --> 00:41:00,600
transmogrify that or or project that out

982
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:02,010
into the future if everybody was to be

983
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,710
able to do that what a different world

984
00:41:02,010 --> 00:41:07,260
it would be I thought it was just to

985
00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:09,770
bring it back as you were paraphrasing

986
00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:14,040
the richest place in the world and and

987
00:41:09,770 --> 00:41:16,380
how much value has been missed I think

988
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:18,860
it's it's definitely something that

989
00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:21,750
everyone be it's someone who is

990
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:24,780
interested in an entrepreneurial journey

991
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:26,610
for those of you who were just listening

992
00:41:24,780 --> 00:41:28,410
because you're just interested in the

993
00:41:26,610 --> 00:41:30,300
show you're not interested in an

994
00:41:28,410 --> 00:41:31,710
entrepreneurial journey but you're

995
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:34,410
thinking about moving forward with

996
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:36,930
something else in life the inner critic

997
00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:38,700
is something that comes up for all of us

998
00:41:36,930 --> 00:41:41,070
no matter what kind of a journey were on

999
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:43,950
the it entrepreneurial or not I can only

1000
00:41:41,070 --> 00:41:46,620
imagine what it would be like if so Mary

1001
00:41:43,950 --> 00:41:48,840
you've been absolutely wonderful I love

1002
00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:51,240
having you on the show I love chatting

1003
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,640
with you please share the best way for

1004
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:55,860
our listeners to find you thank you so

1005
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,420
much I enjoy being on the show it's such

1006
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:59,010
a pleasure to the phone sometimes I

1007
00:41:57,420 --> 00:42:00,840
forget there might even be listeners

1008
00:41:59,010 --> 00:42:03,060
because it's like it's a conversation

1009
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:05,010
between you and I which is a testament

1010
00:42:03,060 --> 00:42:07,380
to what a good host you are so I want to

1011
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:08,400
knowledge you as well thank you thank

1012
00:42:07,380 --> 00:42:12,500
you thank you

1013
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,500
so my website is

1014
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:20,370
I'm calm magnetic podium is one word and

1015
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:22,950
one of the best ways to get in touch

1016
00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:25,800
with me I would suggest is when you go

1017
00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:28,050
to my website magnetic podium calm in

1018
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:31,020
the upper right hand corner the menu if

1019
00:42:28,050 --> 00:42:32,580
you hover over contact there's a contact

1020
00:42:31,020 --> 00:42:34,950
form which you could fill out in text or

1021
00:42:32,580 --> 00:42:37,680
you can click on schedule a call with

1022
00:42:34,950 --> 00:42:39,330
Mary and then you can schedule a

1023
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,520
complimentary short call fifteen to

1024
00:42:39,330 --> 00:42:43,260
thirty minute call to see if there is a

1025
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,850
way that I can help you I would love to

1026
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:46,740
learn about you know what your

1027
00:42:44,850 --> 00:42:49,320
challenges are what your goals are

1028
00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:53,130
whether it's around public speaking or

1029
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:54,330
just getting more clarity in general you

1030
00:42:53,130 --> 00:42:56,160
know some of the things we spoke about

1031
00:42:54,330 --> 00:42:57,750
on the podcast if it resonates with you

1032
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:00,180
I would love to see if there's any way

1033
00:42:57,750 --> 00:43:03,570
that I can help you we will be sure to

1034
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:06,510
link to magnetic podium comm and we will

1035
00:43:03,570 --> 00:43:10,170
be sure to link to the specific page to

1036
00:43:06,510 --> 00:43:11,880
sign up for the book so that if you in

1037
00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:14,430
fact didn't get a chance to check that

1038
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,770
link out during the last episode we will

1039
00:43:14,430 --> 00:43:19,560
be sure that that link is there present

1040
00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:23,280
yourself in public speaking and also a

1041
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:25,320
link to contact you know a link to the

1042
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,510
direct contact page to contact you so

1043
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:29,310
get in touch if you're interested in the

1044
00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:32,250
boot camp that is coming up December

1045
00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:35,760
ninth and tenth Saturday and Sunday I

1046
00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:38,220
will be there with Mary for this boot

1047
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,740
camp so we look forward to seeing all of

1048
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:42,780
you there Mary thank you again and I

1049
00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:44,310
look forward to hanging up soon thanks

1050
00:43:42,780 --> 00:43:45,960
Laurie I'm so excited to see you in

1051
00:43:44,310 --> 00:43:48,000
December as well thanks for having me

1052
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,740
Mary thank you once again for joining us

1053
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,990
this week I am super excited about

1054
00:43:49,740 --> 00:43:53,640
joining you for your two-day present

1055
00:43:51,990 --> 00:43:55,740
yourself in public speaking boot camp

1056
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,300
this weekend techie community thank you

1057
00:43:55,740 --> 00:43:59,820
guys for hanging out with us for this

1058
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:02,070
episode and be sure to join Mary Ann I

1059
00:43:59,820 --> 00:44:04,530
live in Bluebird Mass for her to Day

1060
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:04,980
present yourself in public speaking boot

1061
00:44:04,530 --> 00:44:07,200
camp

1062
00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:08,700
December 9th and 10th I've included a

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00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:11,220
link in the show notes page for easy

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00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:14,370
access you can reach out to Mary via her

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00:44:11,220 --> 00:44:15,960
website at magnetic podium comm you can

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00:44:14,370 --> 00:44:17,570
also register and reach out to Mary

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00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:21,270
through our show notes page at

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technology - quality comm forward slash

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your talents thank you once again for

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joining us for this episode number

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00:44:25,570 --> 00:44:30,820
74 and until our next episode when we

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continue to hear the journey find the

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pain and create solutions enjoy the beat

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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you
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and so if that ever comes up for you or

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if you're hearing it now and you can

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relate to it and you go oh my god that

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totally happened to me from Boston

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Massachusetts you're listening to the

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technology equals equality podcast

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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welcome back to the technology cause

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equality podcast I'm your host Lori

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Brooks and this is episode 74 I am very

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pleased to welcome public speaker author

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and coach Mary Sheen back to the show

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Mary originally joined us for episode 71

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to discuss the pink elephant in the room

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the public speakers don't speak about

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this week Mary is back to show you how

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you can begin silencing your inner

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critic - Mary welcome back and thank you

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so much for joining us again today thank

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you Laurie I am so excited to be back on

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I have you back on you are a ginormous

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part of this journey of mine over here

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at this point Mary for my listeners sake

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if you didn't get that chance to check

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out that episode as I mentioned a moment

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ago you should check it out as I have

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shared that I did have the opportunity

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to read Mary's book and I am super

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excited about my own public speaking

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journey as I have just before we started

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recording this episode enrolled in

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Mary's upcoming boot camp in December so

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Mary I'd love for you to develop you

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know a little bit more about the boot

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camp as we kind of get into this episode

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a little bit further but what I'd like

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to kind of do is take it back to what we

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were touching base on as I was

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registering was kind of that fear that I

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was dealing with taking that next step

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in my own journey because I'm positive

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that it's a fear and a feeling that a

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lot of entrepreneurs come across that

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hesitation of investing in themselves or

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taking that next step on their journey

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or getting on a stage or hosting that

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webinar there's that that pops up that

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makes you hesitate so I was sharing with

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you the reframe and and what I was

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working on my

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so and I'm just curious what have you

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found to be the most common fear that

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you've come across with clients

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great question wonderful wonderful

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question there are many different fears

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that we have when as human beings when

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we step outside our comfort zone okay I

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think your listeners are probably

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like-minded like you and I said they

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probably heard that by now but how I

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want to break that down and unpack it

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for people so that there's a more

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nuanced understanding of how to combat

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your own fears when they come up is

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always work on noticing what your

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internal dialogue is all right because

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thoughts lead to emotion and how you

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feel so paying attention to how you feel

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when the fears come up and then asking

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yourself what is actually causing this

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fear right and so one of the most common

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fears is to answer your question more

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directly is in terms of public speaking

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especially is I don't want to look

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stupid

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or something around that genre that

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theme of stupidity right so I don't want

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to feel stupid I don't want to look

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stupid I don't want to appear stupid and

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that is one of the most common

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underlying themes of why people avoid

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public speaking or when they do somehow

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have to do it or feel like they need to

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do it that fear is there with them as

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they open their mouths for the first

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time on the stage behind the scene so

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it's nothing like a consciously thinking

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I don't want to look stupid anyone looks

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stupid it's a subconscious fear that's

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lurking just behind it so that just

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behind the the surface on the periphery

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and that's why there's this more obvious

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fear around well I've got to be probe

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eggs I hope I prepare enough I hope I

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don't say anything that's gonna

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discredit myself and very closely

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related to that fear is the what I've

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noticed with the clients and people that

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I work with and you know as you know

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you've read my book I talked about it at

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length in my book is this fear of being

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found out

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okay so what that means is the impostor

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syndrome you may have heard of this many

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people have not right but there's this

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common concept out there called the

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impostor syndrome and I can tell you and

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so what that means is you know in a very

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high level is whatever you're doing

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whatever your the value you're providing

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to the audience or however you show up

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to help the audience there's a feeling

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in the background of I'm just faking it

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I'm not really a you know X Y or Z

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whatever you're doing in life whoever

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you are representing I'm not really that

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I'm not really an expert on this topic

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and so that becomes a fear in itself of

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being found out okay so first of all

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that is a very common thing that happens

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for people and so if that ever comes up

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for you or if you're hearing it now and

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you can relate to it and you go oh my

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god that totally happens to me then just

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first of all know that it's normal that

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it comes up for many many people just

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the fact that you're a human being and

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the fact that you are stepping outside

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your comfort zone and whatever that

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looks like for you that will come up or

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that a similar fear will come up is the

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fact that it's the new effect that you

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are outside your comfort zone there's as

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part of your brain that kicks in that

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tries to keep you safe right that keep

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you safe don't go out the comfort zone

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you know this is perceived threat but

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something's going to happen to you so

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this fear is not something that you want

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to suppress or wish that it wasn't there

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or there's something wrong with you

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because the fear is there no the idea is

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to notice it when it comes up and it's

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normal and then to proceed in the

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direction that you choose because you

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know you're growing and you know you

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want to take next step in this direction

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whether it's contributing more or

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stepping up your game whatever that

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looks like for you and in public

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speaking it usually means speaking

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outside of your comfort zone so in other

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words if you were used to say speaking

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in front of a group of you know five to

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ten P

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Paul about a topic that you're very very

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familiar with so your next level of

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comfort zone might be speaking in front

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of 50 to 200 people in a new topic right

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a topic that you want to contribute but

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you haven't you're not very practiced in

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giving that topic and so that isn't by

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nature outside of the comfort zone

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because there's something new right so

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anytime you endeavor in presenting

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something new or stepping outside your

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comfort zone in any kind of sense

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whether it's a new skill you're learning

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or you're endeavoring to have your own

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business now for the first time you know

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creating a new area of business you

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haven't created before anything like

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that that's outside your comfort zone

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the idea is notice when the fear comes

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up and because you know for sure that's

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the direction you want to travel you

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want to notice that internal dialogue

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and the fear and then moving forward

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despite of that fear that is the trick

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my friend and that is worth if you can

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do that and you can do that consistently

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and internally coach yourself to not let

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the fear stop you from taking the

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antigen that is the Holy Grail right

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there definitely it's about making sure

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that you take the actions whatever that

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that fear that hesitation is felt I tend

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to notice or recognizing myself that

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there's something that I need to follow

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through with there something that I need

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to move forward with it's not

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necessarily the easiest thing to go

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about recognizing you're noticing do you

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find that there are more female clients

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versus male clients do you think that

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there's a difference in the way females

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versus males approach this sort of

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hesitation or the fear that's a great

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question and I would I think it's both I

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think there are commonalities and there

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are slight differences as well the

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commonality being the baseline is

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whether you're male or female we have

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one thing in common and that is that

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were all humans right so as human beings

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we definitely share the same mechanics

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of how when we are endeavoring to do

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something new learn something

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and oh it's going to be those awkward

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moments at the beginning and you know

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that that in itself is a commonality

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between men and women now if I had to

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separate them and I talked a little bit

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about this in my book about the

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differences between men and women

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especially when it comes to dealing with

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public speaking is there are some

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biological differences between men and

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women and the way the way I described it

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in the book is for men

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the primary chemistry I guess is

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dominated by testosterone right there's

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this dark side you know quote-unquote

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dark side of testosterone is violence

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when there's too much of it there's

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there happens to be the violence right

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for women were wired differently just by

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nature and that our predominant chemical

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is estrogen right the way women socially

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bond traditionally is through nurturing

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each other right

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the nature of nurturing each other and

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then the dark side quotient again the

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dark side of how females function is the

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the tendency to exclude okay so for

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example and this is and you know this is

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not me me creating this it's very well

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known this is the phenomenon that you

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would see in movies or in books like

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this is a movie for except me and girls

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and there's plenty other examples like

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that and a book called queen bees and

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wannabes right it's a very well known

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phenomenon and and women as we grow up

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well maybe when we get to between years

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the teenagers were experience this in

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the peer pressure where it's the

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exclusion happens in the form of which

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is nice I'm not your friend right and so

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there's this exclusion that happens and

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so because we're wired that way there is

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this tendency for women to to have the

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predisposition to want to be like yeah

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and so what that means wanting to be

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liked the opposite of that is not

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wanting to be ousted

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not wanting to be rejected and I'm sure

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Lori if you would ask any

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00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:10,799
your female listeners they either have

261
00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:12,420
experienced it themselves somewhere

262
00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:13,799
along their growing up journey or they

263
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:17,369
know of somebody close to them who's

264
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:21,149
experienced being ousted right and I

265
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:22,980
myself have as well many times if I was

266
00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:26,249
showing this story with my one of my

267
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:29,309
friends in the fifth grade I was dumped

268
00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:30,839
by my best friend okay and that if

269
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:33,959
you've ever experienced it it's not a

270
00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:38,759
pleasant feeling and so there is this

271
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:39,959
tendency now to unconsciously want to be

272
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liked right

273
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not wanting to be disliked and so the

274
00:11:42,029 --> 00:11:47,759
way it manifests in public speaking for

275
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example is being consciously aware that

276
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:53,100
you're not there on the stage to be

277
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liked I mean it's my preference to be

278
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:57,420
liked and I'm you know it's great if you

279
00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:59,129
in during my audience and whatever I say

280
00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:01,619
resonates with you know oh I like her

281
00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:03,959
that's great that is my preference but

282
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:06,329
the purpose my primary purpose is being

283
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:08,489
in the stage is not for you to like me

284
00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:10,739
because I will say things that will

285
00:12:08,489 --> 00:12:12,869
probably wake you up in some way maybe

286
00:12:10,739 --> 00:12:15,389
even a little controversial maybe to you

287
00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:17,189
know trigger you deliberately so that I

288
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:18,720
can wake you up to these insights or

289
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:21,720
concepts that I'm trying to share with

290
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:24,059
you and so if my primary concern while

291
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,529
I'm the stage is to be light then that's

292
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going to hold my whole back my

293
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expression right and so you know and not

294
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,619
to say that men don't have that men as

295
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:33,360
human beings also you know would like to

296
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:35,819
be liked as well nobody I don't think

297
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:38,129
ever consciously just gets up that just

298
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not to be light but yeah that is a

299
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:43,079
slight difference in the way we're wired

300
00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:46,019
as men and women and in my experience I

301
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:49,739
work with both men and women men also

302
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:50,759
have a similar and I want to emphasize

303
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:54,269
this point because I think it's

304
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:57,540
important also have the as human beings

305
00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:59,699
the fear of being rejected as well even

306
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:02,189
if it's more unconscious than

307
00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:05,160
subconscious and then the women however

308
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:06,600
they're not as what I've noticed in the

309
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:11,730
people that I work with they're not

310
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:14,759
necessarily as open about sharing those

311
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:16,799
fears right but once it's put on the

312
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:19,170
table once it's out there in the open

313
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:21,630
then you say oh yeah I have that

314
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:24,690
- and yes I have that - so I think it's

315
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:26,430
it is women are more susceptible to it

316
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:30,800
but men are definitely not exempt from

317
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:34,500
it in fact probably equally subjected to

318
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:35,760
the the same phenomenon but not as we

319
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:39,720
stress about it

320
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:42,959
it's just that it's not as commonly

321
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:45,540
discussed or as commonly recognized -

322
00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:48,959
that perception that recognition of it

323
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:51,120
may not be as available as it is to

324
00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:55,800
those who are looking or consciously

325
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:58,380
aware of their intent or interest in the

326
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:01,399
statement as you said you know the need

327
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:04,380
to be like right right yeah this is some

328
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:06,959
perception I need to look up his name

329
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,820
but there's this author a seeker who

330
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:11,490
talks about this at length and I learned

331
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:15,480
from him through his experiences that

332
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:17,870
the way men grow up is is more of a if

333
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,860
you were to share your feelings with

334
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:22,230
somebody like in your in your male

335
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,699
bonding group then it there is a high

336
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:26,550
chance that it could be perceived as a

337
00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:28,949
weakness you see and so that's why many

338
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:32,040
men don't share and end up bottling it

339
00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:33,870
up and you know in many ways that's

340
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,430
that's it's going to manifest the quirks

341
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:37,769
are going to manifest differently right

342
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:39,510
author about that that side of things -

343
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:42,360
mint which I can't speak to you cuz I'm

344
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:45,180
not one well no that's wonderful what

345
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,490
we'll do is we will put a link to either

346
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:50,130
his youtube channel or his website along

347
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:52,589
with the info about the bootcamp on the

348
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:54,180
show next page for the listeners and and

349
00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:56,610
links so that they can check them out

350
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:59,459
thank you for sharing that I know fear

351
00:14:56,610 --> 00:15:02,550
was really big player during your

352
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:05,970
journey as an entrepreneur and becoming

353
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:08,519
a speaker but I'm curious about whether

354
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:12,180
or not you feel like fear was also the

355
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:15,839
biggest player when launching your own

356
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:17,430
coaching firms so magnetic podium what

357
00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:19,260
do you feel was the difference between

358
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:22,079
the two and what if there was a

359
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:25,769
difference that is a great question I

360
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:28,800
think fear is a part of everyday life

361
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:30,269
and a fear is a part of the common limit

362
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,760
now Lee that we experience as human

363
00:15:30,269 --> 00:15:35,370
beings so it will be pervasive

364
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:38,130
you know whether it's whether it was me

365
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:40,250
learning to be a better speaker or me

366
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:43,260
launching my own business that

367
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:46,380
definitely is a commonality that that I

368
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:48,420
do have to get through in platoon to

369
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,770
continue launching the business and so

370
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,810
it's a training and communications

371
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:55,050
company with a coaching side of it as

372
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:57,000
well one-on-one coaching and how I now

373
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:59,250
describe it is its transformation or

374
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:04,980
public speaking so in other words it's

375
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:07,800
not necessarily addressing its core

376
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:09,270
purpose is not to address the just the

377
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,770
mechanics of speaking because I started

378
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:13,320
to notice that in the public speaking

379
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:15,150
training education world out there and I

380
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,520
myself through my journey have taken

381
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:21,120
many many many public speaking courses

382
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:24,360
and training courses and the gap that I

383
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:27,180
perceived when I started teaching public

384
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:30,320
speaking back in 2009 it became very

385
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:32,400
obvious to me that people's number one

386
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,440
obstacle that got in their way of

387
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,450
becoming the best most self-express

388
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,940
speaker that they can be what held them

389
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:40,890
back wasn't the mechanics which is what

390
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:43,110
was being taught so what I mean by

391
00:16:40,890 --> 00:16:45,030
mechanics is things like how do you

392
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:47,580
stand how do you use your voice how do

393
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:49,380
you structure a speech how do you what

394
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:51,870
is the message all of that is important

395
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:53,820
but was what was not being addressed was

396
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:57,150
pink elephant in the room so to speak

397
00:16:53,820 --> 00:17:01,560
which is the inner critic yourself right

398
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:03,870
so when you went so when I was creating

399
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,640
courses and writing my book about the

400
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:07,680
whole process of what I teach you how to

401
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:12,570
conquer your own inner critic it became

402
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:15,140
very readily apparent to me that if I'm

403
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:18,660
not myself constantly and consistently

404
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:21,690
working on my own inner critic and and

405
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:24,420
being able to identify it when it comes

406
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:27,959
up in proceeding despite of it then I

407
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:30,360
have no credibility teaching it okay so

408
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:32,150
as I was launching my company around

409
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:34,440
this concept and around what I teach

410
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:36,510
there is also something that I was

411
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:39,420
watching right what is my own inner

412
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:41,610
critic saying right now as I am

413
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:42,990
endeavoring to launch this business as

414
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:45,210
I'm you know building out the next

415
00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:47,169
components of my business and even in

416
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:49,510
writing the book

417
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:51,220
this all came up so it's fascinating

418
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:55,059
that you asked this question because the

419
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:58,120
fear that doesn't always come manifest

420
00:17:55,059 --> 00:18:00,100
itself as APU right right it's funny a

421
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,740
lot of the times actually it doesn't

422
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,899
manifest as an obvious like you're not

423
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:07,600
literally sitting there going I'm scared

424
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:10,269
right now right don't manifest that way

425
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:13,929
how how it's sometimes and often does

426
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:17,440
manifest is notice there's this internal

427
00:18:13,929 --> 00:18:19,539
resistance that happens right Steven

428
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:23,409
Pressfield who's a very well-known

429
00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:25,960
author he talks about this as well and

430
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:27,940
then and it's the equal and opposite

431
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:30,639
it's almost like there's two opposing

432
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:33,340
forces that's happening within us so one

433
00:18:30,639 --> 00:18:35,080
is we want to survive right as human

434
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:37,570
beings obviously we don't die we want to

435
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:40,320
survive so that's one force and then the

436
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:43,000
opposite force is we also want to grow I

437
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:45,429
want to grow as human beings we want to

438
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,110
evolve as human beings and what does

439
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:49,690
that mean that means we have to step

440
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:52,090
outside our comfort zone so these two

441
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:54,159
equal and opposite forces are happening

442
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,510
at the same time so I want to grow yeah

443
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,860
I want to grow and then you step outside

444
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:59,260
your comfort zone you're like oh no I

445
00:18:56,860 --> 00:19:01,450
need to survive I need to get back into

446
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:04,269
my comfort zone so these two opposite

447
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:06,940
forces are always working against each

448
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:09,190
other and it's not a good thing it's not

449
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:12,490
a bad thing it's a neutral thing to

450
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:14,529
notice and understand within our souls

451
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:17,200
because how it manifests on a daily

452
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:18,789
basis is for example if you are let's

453
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,230
say building out a new component to your

454
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,639
business you've never done it before or

455
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,870
you're working on a new speech a new

456
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:26,289
presentation that you've never given

457
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:28,929
before and how it comes across inside

458
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:30,399
how did a dialogue if you were to notice

459
00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:33,639
within yourself might be something like

460
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:35,710
oh I really don't want to do this right

461
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:38,350
now and it reveal I'd are such a hard

462
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:41,049
work I'm never gonna get this finished

463
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:44,620
right so that in itself is putting

464
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:46,929
dialogue into what that feeling is right

465
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:49,240
that feeling is always hard and I'm

466
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:51,549
gonna do it now I don't feel like it I'm

467
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,860
sure all of your listeners can relate to

468
00:19:51,549 --> 00:19:57,639
that and you're like oh that feeling of

469
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,880
hardwood that pushed that that that the

470
00:19:57,639 --> 00:20:01,760
the

471
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:05,030
distance of you know getting into motion

472
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:07,220
you got to really set yourself on this

473
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:09,650
path of paths in your own universe

474
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:13,070
aright like divine path the initial

475
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:15,740
inertia yes having that asset of minds

476
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:18,050
that have in that and momentum why I'm

477
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:21,970
saying that in relation to your question

478
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:25,220
is to the few doesn't always necessarily

479
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:27,470
come across as recognizable scariness

480
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:30,170
it's a lot of the time its internal

481
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:32,720
resistance right so yeah absolutely in

482
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:36,950
everything I do when it's new whether it

483
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:41,000
was creating my business or or launching

484
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:44,240
a new pod business that comes up that

485
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,490
that internal resistance comes up and so

486
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:49,250
yeah absolutely knowing using the same

487
00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:53,270
processes that I teach my clients to get

488
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:54,710
over those internal resistance is you

489
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:57,370
know what I'm about and what I love to

490
00:20:54,710 --> 00:21:03,800
share with people because they work

491
00:20:57,370 --> 00:21:06,770
we're not doing them they would no I

492
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:09,770
agree they do work you know once you

493
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:11,900
address it take that recognition of it

494
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:16,000
and then address it in some way shape or

495
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:19,040
form you will see differences you know

496
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,900
mindset is one of the largest hurdles

497
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,240
that most people tend to face during

498
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:24,950
their journey I'm curious whether or not

499
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:28,670
you find there to be some sort of

500
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:31,670
recurring language or specific phrases

501
00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:33,170
that people tend to use when you're

502
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:35,210
working with clients so in other words

503
00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:37,100
throughout your client base do you find

504
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:39,710
that there's a resounding fear that

505
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:41,450
everyone tends to have Lori that's a

506
00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:42,950
great question and here's how I'm going

507
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:45,050
to answer that I'll give you an example

508
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:47,810
I think there's a really good way of

509
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:52,490
illustrating it when I was writing my

510
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:54,350
book all right and it's a process to

511
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:57,110
write a book and anyone who's written in

512
00:21:54,350 --> 00:22:00,800
their book will know this it takes a lot

513
00:21:57,110 --> 00:22:02,750
of discipline to be able to finish the

514
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,580
book right it's one thing I think the

515
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:07,190
statistic is I forget the exact number

516
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:08,630
but it's really high number it's like 90

517
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,920
something percent of people want to

518
00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:11,360
write a book or one day would love to

519
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,809
write a book but yet the percentage of

520
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:15,600
people that actually do and publish

521
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:18,980
the book is very small and I believe

522
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:21,779
it's it's due to this phenomenon isn't

523
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:23,999
having the tools to deal with your own

524
00:22:21,779 --> 00:22:25,320
internal resistance around doing

525
00:22:23,999 --> 00:22:28,169
something and following through with

526
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,450
something so how I do that during the

527
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:32,580
book writing process and I think this is

528
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,499
a process that anyone can take to use

529
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,809
around anything whether it's writing a

530
00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:42,769
book or learning something new is to

531
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:45,480
have what I call a practice around

532
00:22:42,769 --> 00:22:47,249
debunking firstly noticing what the

533
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,919
little voices are that's coming up the

534
00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:51,840
internal resistant voices and then a way

535
00:22:49,919 --> 00:22:53,669
to get you out of it to take action

536
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,649
anymore because it sounds like very

537
00:22:53,669 --> 00:22:58,830
theoretical right so here's how I

538
00:22:55,649 --> 00:23:01,409
implement it on a practical basis all

539
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:03,450
right take any piece of paper or even a

540
00:23:01,409 --> 00:23:06,269
word document which is what I use during

541
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:09,149
my writing process as a very specific

542
00:23:06,269 --> 00:23:12,330
example I would make myself sit there

543
00:23:09,149 --> 00:23:14,580
every single weekday morning between you

544
00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:17,190
know it's like 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.

545
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:19,350
I'm gonna spend one hour writing part of

546
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:23,700
this book all right and so I would sit

547
00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:26,669
there and start noticing those internal

548
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:29,100
resistant voices that come up and each

549
00:23:26,669 --> 00:23:31,080
one that came up I would literally go to

550
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:33,450
my word document and type it out in

551
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,999
bullet points I won't get this done on

552
00:23:33,450 --> 00:23:38,580
time there's so much writing I'm never

553
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:41,279
gonna finish it there's a long way to go

554
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:43,860
right I won't be able to do it like

555
00:23:41,279 --> 00:23:46,619
whatever it is I didn't make them wrong

556
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:48,539
I allow them to come up and all I did

557
00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:49,919
was document them and just by the type

558
00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:51,869
type type site okay that's what's there

559
00:23:49,919 --> 00:23:54,179
right now tak tak tak tak so in the

560
00:23:51,869 --> 00:23:57,119
middle of the word document I would draw

561
00:23:54,179 --> 00:23:59,220
a line on the other side of the document

562
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:02,460
next the bullet points that I had just

563
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:04,499
listed it would be what would my best

564
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:06,330
friend say to me what are the empowering

565
00:24:04,499 --> 00:24:09,090
voices that my best friend would say to

566
00:24:06,330 --> 00:24:10,559
me if I went to her with this concern so

567
00:24:09,090 --> 00:24:12,299
for example I want to get it done on

568
00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:14,369
time there's not another so much writing

569
00:24:12,299 --> 00:24:15,929
I'll never finish it if I took this

570
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,970
concern to my best friend she would say

571
00:24:15,929 --> 00:24:20,690
and I literally wrote this down in

572
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:23,220
bullet points you're making progress

573
00:24:20,690 --> 00:24:25,529
rome wasn't built in a day

574
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:26,640
anything worth writing is worth spending

575
00:24:25,529 --> 00:24:30,600
time on

576
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:32,820
focus on baby steps moving forward and

577
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:36,059
then once I got all that out I was like

578
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:38,760
oh my lip my state of mind literally

579
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:40,980
shifted from I can't do this I can't do

580
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,900
it oh yeah you're absolutely right yeah

581
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:46,280
that's so true and then I would switch

582
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:46,280
back to the other page and start writing

583
00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:53,820
yeah so that is a very simple simple

584
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:57,420
methodology that you you your list you

585
00:24:53,820 --> 00:24:59,730
and your listeners can use to get

586
00:24:57,420 --> 00:25:03,030
yourself out of that loop that little

587
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:05,690
loop that that tends to we sit in like a

588
00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:08,970
little cul-de-sac that we're sit in and

589
00:25:05,690 --> 00:25:10,919
stew in and not be able to take action

590
00:25:08,970 --> 00:25:13,110
you say with what I'm saying it's it's

591
00:25:10,919 --> 00:25:16,799
just very it's a very practical way of

592
00:25:13,110 --> 00:25:18,600
doing it and so what I ended up doing at

593
00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:19,980
the end of it let's see how long did it

594
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,600
take me to write the book until it was

595
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:23,070
ready for editing probably six months

596
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,530
right approximately six months until I

597
00:25:23,070 --> 00:25:27,000
finished the first draft of the book or

598
00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:29,490
until it was ready for a professional

599
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,010
editor to look at right and so during

600
00:25:29,490 --> 00:25:34,590
the six months as you can imagine that

601
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:36,360
word document of the little voice

602
00:25:34,590 --> 00:25:38,400
internal resistance voice versus the

603
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:42,840
best friend voice that document became

604
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:44,940
very very long long right and because

605
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,440
even if the same voice came up from

606
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:47,970
yesterday from the day before I didn't

607
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,620
care I didn't look at it and go oh it's

608
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:52,230
a duplicate voice ocean write it down no

609
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:54,330
I wrote it down anyway but at the end of

610
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,190
that six month process right this is

611
00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:59,400
where my nerdiness comes across because

612
00:25:56,190 --> 00:26:03,000
I'm constantly trying to figure out

613
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:05,490
tools and processes of how I can get

614
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,260
over my own conquer my own internal

615
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:09,360
resistance so that I can create what I

616
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:12,419
need to contribute into the world and I

617
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:15,510
know that I am the biggest hurdle in my

618
00:26:12,419 --> 00:26:17,040
own biggest barrier of what I can

619
00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:19,080
produce like the ideas that I have

620
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:22,080
versus an being manifested physically

621
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:25,309
out into the world these barrier and so

622
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:27,870
I am the person to figure out how to

623
00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:30,360
conquer my own inner resistance when it

624
00:26:27,870 --> 00:26:32,460
comes up so this long long long word

625
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,230
document that ended up having as a

626
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:35,880
result of writing down my little voices

627
00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:38,700
and bestfriends voices every single day

628
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,210
of my writing I talked I went through it

629
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:43,090
meticulously

630
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:43,840
and categorized all of the little voices

631
00:26:43,090 --> 00:26:47,020
okay

632
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:50,890
and then here's what I found I found one

633
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:53,740
two three four five categories the five

634
00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:56,890
categories then I noticed the inner

635
00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:58,960
critic voices came were in the form of

636
00:26:56,890 --> 00:27:01,690
and if like if I had to put them under

637
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,300
umbrellas they would be grouped this way

638
00:27:01,690 --> 00:27:08,650
the first category out of the five is

639
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:10,510
overwhelm you feel very overwhelmed so

640
00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:13,150
the example to answer your question the

641
00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:16,300
example common little voices that would

642
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:18,700
come up as a part of feeling overwhelmed

643
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:20,860
is I don't want I won't get this done on

644
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:22,480
time there's so much to do what are you

645
00:27:20,860 --> 00:27:23,650
but I'm finisher there's such a long way

646
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,080
to go I'll never finish it

647
00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:28,780
so that's overwhelm it never got this

648
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,380
done right that's overwhelm the second

649
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:34,170
category is it's too hard it's too

650
00:27:31,380 --> 00:27:36,760
difficult the challenge is too great so

651
00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:39,040
the how it manifests is the little voice

652
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,320
saying the internal dialogue saying I

653
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,910
won't be able to do it I can't do it I

654
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,960
don't know how I just can't it's too

655
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:46,030
hard right

656
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,970
that's the second category the third

657
00:27:46,030 --> 00:27:54,910
category is that the internal dialogue

658
00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:57,490
attacks your own credibility okay so as

659
00:27:54,910 --> 00:28:00,100
an example the the internal dialogue

660
00:27:57,490 --> 00:28:03,010
might sound like this oh my god what if

661
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:05,620
I say this is all BS Oh what I'm saying

662
00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,790
is BS this is so good enough my writing

663
00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:07,720
is not good enough or whatever it is

664
00:28:06,790 --> 00:28:09,160
you're working on it's not good enough

665
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,720
this is BS and no one's ever gonna pay

666
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,550
attention to this what value do I have

667
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,460
to bring to the world this is this is

668
00:28:12,550 --> 00:28:17,170
nonsense right so noticing that that's

669
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:20,830
third category if it's attacking your

670
00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:22,330
own credibility okay and again I would

671
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:23,830
like to ask you and your listeners to

672
00:28:22,330 --> 00:28:26,710
see if you can relate to this and I'm

673
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:29,680
pretty sure you can the fourth category

674
00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:32,620
is the resistance to the work itself

675
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:36,490
okay so what that would sound like an

676
00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:38,320
internal dialogue would be good and I

677
00:28:36,490 --> 00:28:40,600
feel like doing the work right now I

678
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,940
didn't really feel like it do I have to

679
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:45,430
do it I just want to go out and have fun

680
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:46,930
I just want to watch TV I just want to

681
00:28:45,430 --> 00:28:48,520
have chocolate I just want to whatever

682
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:50,200
whatever exfilling the bank

683
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,630
I just want to XYZ I don't want to do it

684
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,530
right now so that's the resistance to

685
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:57,550
the work it's

686
00:28:53,530 --> 00:28:59,500
okay and in the last category is similar

687
00:28:57,550 --> 00:29:02,290
to attacking your own credibility but a

688
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:05,290
little bit more sharp a little bit more

689
00:29:02,290 --> 00:29:08,950
deep deep which is attacking your own

690
00:29:05,290 --> 00:29:09,850
self-worth yeah so it's like what's

691
00:29:08,950 --> 00:29:11,680
wrong with me

692
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:13,780
no one else seems to be struggling like

693
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:18,400
I am I am I need anyone who found it

694
00:29:13,780 --> 00:29:22,140
hard with me oh my god I was wrong so

695
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:27,100
it's literally attacking your self-worth

696
00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:29,410
right so this is from lots and lots of

697
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:31,300
examples of the data and when I and I've

698
00:29:29,410 --> 00:29:34,000
shared this with many many people since

699
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:36,490
and every person I've shared it with can

700
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:39,520
relate to most if not all of these

701
00:29:36,490 --> 00:29:41,410
categories right and so the idea to

702
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:44,290
answer your question in a very very long

703
00:29:41,410 --> 00:29:45,940
format is absolutely there are common in

704
00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:48,130
a critic internal voices that come up

705
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:50,710
all the time related to our fear related

706
00:29:48,130 --> 00:29:54,820
to our internal resistance and if you

707
00:29:50,710 --> 00:30:00,310
can relate to any of that no it's a

708
00:29:54,820 --> 00:30:02,110
human thing I love it no you're not the

709
00:30:00,310 --> 00:30:03,910
only one and I love those five

710
00:30:02,110 --> 00:30:06,520
categories that you provided the

711
00:30:03,910 --> 00:30:08,590
overwhelm it's too hard not good enough

712
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:11,080
resistance and so forth they're

713
00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:13,000
definitely all very relatable categories

714
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,130
that you know I'm sure entrepreneurs

715
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,250
across the board experienced in one way

716
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:19,990
shape or form I think what I thought was

717
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:21,490
most impressive about what you were

718
00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:23,770
stating just now to kind of want to

719
00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:26,110
rewind to you're expressing you know

720
00:30:23,770 --> 00:30:29,860
while you were writing the book how you

721
00:30:26,110 --> 00:30:32,050
just kept moving forward by using the

722
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:34,960
journal by using that document by

723
00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:37,330
creating the momentum with it not even

724
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:40,120
to look back to see if you've written up

725
00:30:37,330 --> 00:30:42,220
before debating on how many times you've

726
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,860
written this little voice down it didn't

727
00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:48,040
matter the point was to get it out to

728
00:30:44,860 --> 00:30:50,170
get it out and keep the momentum flowing

729
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,460
so I just wanted to kind of bring us

730
00:30:50,170 --> 00:30:54,070
back to that because I thought that was

731
00:30:51,460 --> 00:30:55,930
really important and kudos and Congrats

732
00:30:54,070 --> 00:30:59,320
once again on the book I absolutely

733
00:30:55,930 --> 00:31:01,870
loved it and can't wait to get to the

734
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:04,060
boot camp Mary I'd love for you to share

735
00:31:01,870 --> 00:31:06,280
you know once again a little bit about

736
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:06,759
what the boot camp will be like what

737
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,009
your

738
00:31:06,759 --> 00:31:13,269
to share there I'd like for you to also

739
00:31:09,009 --> 00:31:15,729
share your motivation why it is that you

740
00:31:13,269 --> 00:31:18,489
do what you do and why it is you're so

741
00:31:15,729 --> 00:31:20,619
excited to host this upcoming boot camp

742
00:31:18,489 --> 00:31:23,229
a great question thank you for asking so

743
00:31:20,619 --> 00:31:25,059
I have a 2-day boot camp it's a public

744
00:31:23,229 --> 00:31:28,089
speaking boot camp in here in the Boston

745
00:31:25,059 --> 00:31:30,519
area that I'll be holding it's on

746
00:31:28,089 --> 00:31:32,769
December the 9th and 10th is a Saturday

747
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:36,009
and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. so you

748
00:31:32,769 --> 00:31:38,079
get two full days of immersion if you

749
00:31:36,009 --> 00:31:40,749
liked what you heard already on the

750
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:42,699
podcast that is just a fraction of some

751
00:31:40,749 --> 00:31:45,339
of the things that I cover during the

752
00:31:42,699 --> 00:31:47,829
work in the boot camp so day one of the

753
00:31:45,339 --> 00:31:51,639
boot camp we spend a lot of time on the

754
00:31:47,829 --> 00:31:54,009
inner self so your internal dialogue of

755
00:31:51,639 --> 00:31:56,079
what's holding you back and what's

756
00:31:54,009 --> 00:31:58,749
keeping you from owning your full self

757
00:31:56,079 --> 00:32:00,639
expression as a public speaker and so

758
00:31:58,749 --> 00:32:03,059
day one will really spend a lot of time

759
00:32:00,639 --> 00:32:06,009
working on that looking at you and

760
00:32:03,059 --> 00:32:07,539
looking at the processes and guiding you

761
00:32:06,009 --> 00:32:09,719
through the processes and there's a lot

762
00:32:07,539 --> 00:32:12,819
of coaching that I do with you as well

763
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,739
so that we can have you have a

764
00:32:12,819 --> 00:32:18,399
transformational experience around

765
00:32:14,739 --> 00:32:20,529
public speaking and they one is what I

766
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:22,749
was talking earlier before how most

767
00:32:20,529 --> 00:32:25,959
public speaking training are missing

768
00:32:22,749 --> 00:32:28,089
nobody talks about the how do you

769
00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:30,489
address the internal dialogue that comes

770
00:32:28,089 --> 00:32:32,619
up that disempowers you during public

771
00:32:30,489 --> 00:32:35,259
speaking or even in preparations for a

772
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:37,839
presentation right so that we address in

773
00:32:35,259 --> 00:32:39,969
detail on day one day two of the

774
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:42,519
bootcamp is more to do with the

775
00:32:39,969 --> 00:32:44,499
mechanics however it's more than just

776
00:32:42,519 --> 00:32:47,079
the regular mechanics you hear about we

777
00:32:44,499 --> 00:32:50,259
dive into engaging storytelling how do

778
00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:53,169
you get your point across in the form of

779
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:55,359
a story so that you get the point across

780
00:32:53,169 --> 00:32:59,440
without boring people keep them engaged

781
00:32:55,359 --> 00:33:01,809
and they feel entertained so the idea is

782
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,029
having edutainment which is a

783
00:33:01,809 --> 00:33:06,459
combination of education and

784
00:33:04,029 --> 00:33:08,769
entertainment the more fun your audience

785
00:33:06,459 --> 00:33:10,059
has the more fun you have the better

786
00:33:08,769 --> 00:33:11,949
they're going to remember the content

787
00:33:10,059 --> 00:33:14,079
the more it's going to sink in anyway so

788
00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:16,419
we look into that we also look at the

789
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:20,550
human psychology of how to influence

790
00:33:16,419 --> 00:33:22,890
people and how we can as presenters

791
00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:25,740
use that so that we can influence our

792
00:33:22,890 --> 00:33:28,440
audience to action so we dive a lot into

793
00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:30,240
that on day two and why is it two days

794
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,390
in a row because then it gives you the

795
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:36,230
immersive experience and you are there

796
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:38,640
for my goal my intention is giving you a

797
00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:40,410
transformational experience not just of

798
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,990
public speaking but your own

799
00:33:40,410 --> 00:33:45,390
relationship to yourself and how you

800
00:33:42,990 --> 00:33:47,190
relate to public speaking so that when

801
00:33:45,390 --> 00:33:48,690
you come out of it you'll never think of

802
00:33:47,190 --> 00:33:51,420
public speaking the same way again

803
00:33:48,690 --> 00:33:54,000
okay so the idea is to empower you and

804
00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:55,620
give you the tools necessary to send you

805
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,080
on your way to become an amazing speaker

806
00:33:55,620 --> 00:34:01,440
and to answer your second question why

807
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,670
do I do what I do there's a that's a

808
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,820
great question because I think we should

809
00:34:02,670 --> 00:34:08,400
all start with the why and when I look

810
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:11,010
at my Y as to why I'm doing business

811
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,919
this is actually just one step of the

812
00:34:11,010 --> 00:34:15,840
larger vision that I have public

813
00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:17,970
speaking is definitely a huge component

814
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:20,070
of that and that's where my own

815
00:34:17,970 --> 00:34:21,870
credibility lies in terms of having

816
00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:23,970
conquered my own fear of public speaking

817
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:25,590
and now putting it out into the world in

818
00:34:23,970 --> 00:34:29,130
a bigger way than I have been in

819
00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:31,679
previous years of my life such as

820
00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:33,630
putting that book out such as these boot

821
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:35,880
camps such as doing many more podcast

822
00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:38,040
interviews and getting the word out

823
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,929
about you inner critic and how we all

824
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,110
have the common fears and all have that

825
00:34:39,929 --> 00:34:45,149
internal negative dialog to separate

826
00:34:43,110 --> 00:34:47,550
ourselves from it because one one big

827
00:34:45,149 --> 00:34:49,140
part of the solution is to notice it and

828
00:34:47,550 --> 00:34:52,080
then to distinguish it so that there's

829
00:34:49,140 --> 00:34:54,960
space between you and that negative

830
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:57,330
internal dialogue and within that space

831
00:34:54,960 --> 00:35:01,620
then you can choose right I feel like

832
00:34:57,330 --> 00:35:04,560
this is a fundamental skill that is not

833
00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:07,260
taught in schools it's a fundamental

834
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:09,450
skill that's not taught in many families

835
00:35:07,260 --> 00:35:12,030
I certainly did not learn it from my

836
00:35:09,450 --> 00:35:13,860
parents and it was a skill that I had to

837
00:35:12,030 --> 00:35:15,830
learn it because I was dealing with

838
00:35:13,860 --> 00:35:19,560
these difficulties in everyday life

839
00:35:15,830 --> 00:35:20,970
which I needed to have tools to be able

840
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,890
to deal with it and move forward and

841
00:35:20,970 --> 00:35:25,320
contribute to the world what I need what

842
00:35:22,890 --> 00:35:27,780
I'm here to contribute and I feel like

843
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:30,720
it's a right for everyone to know how to

844
00:35:27,780 --> 00:35:32,910
do this for themselves oh and I feel

845
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:33,500
very strongly that I was put on this

846
00:35:32,910 --> 00:35:36,920
planet

847
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:39,440
to help contribute in that way to teach

848
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:41,660
and to educate people on how to empower

849
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,760
themselves so this public speaking

850
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:46,010
component is a huge part of that going

851
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,920
forward for example I'm working on my

852
00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:51,410
third book which is just a way of how do

853
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,900
I mean writing and speaking these are

854
00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:56,510
just mediums right mediums for what a

855
00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:58,190
mediums to communicate a message so the

856
00:35:56,510 --> 00:36:00,740
what and what is the message right the

857
00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:02,300
message is and what I'm working on now

858
00:36:00,740 --> 00:36:05,320
in creating and putting out into the

859
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:08,630
world on a larger scale is how to

860
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:10,940
process your own emotions so that you

861
00:36:08,630 --> 00:36:12,410
can process them in an empowering way

862
00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:14,840
and in a healthy way

863
00:36:12,410 --> 00:36:17,090
that brings you out to bring whatever

864
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,820
your gifts are into the world in a

865
00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:22,670
bigger way and I feel like this is my

866
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:24,170
passion it's my calling even though it

867
00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:29,060
sounds really glamorous right all it's

868
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:33,830
my calling it really is in some ways

869
00:36:29,060 --> 00:36:35,450
it's almost a burden right because it's

870
00:36:33,830 --> 00:36:37,070
great when the motivation sounds like

871
00:36:35,450 --> 00:36:38,810
yeah I'm totally gonna bring this out

872
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:40,850
into the world yeah I'm totally gonna do

873
00:36:38,810 --> 00:36:42,620
that but then once the motivation leaves

874
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:44,390
as it always does because it comes in

875
00:36:42,620 --> 00:36:46,790
ways when you're at the bottom of that

876
00:36:44,390 --> 00:36:49,250
motivation curve now now it appears like

877
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:51,050
now I've got to do this thing right I

878
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:53,840
can't go back to those internal

879
00:36:51,050 --> 00:36:54,860
resistance voices so noticing that and

880
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,980
still bringing it out into the world

881
00:36:54,860 --> 00:37:01,010
because I'm so clear for myself it's an

882
00:36:57,980 --> 00:37:02,180
inner internal intuitive knowing that

883
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:05,030
this is what I'm meant to do right now

884
00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:07,010
and bringing that out into the world is

885
00:37:05,030 --> 00:37:08,600
what keeps me going because you know I

886
00:37:07,010 --> 00:37:12,170
look at my clients I look at the people

887
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:13,910
that I work with that takes what I teach

888
00:37:12,170 --> 00:37:15,910
them takes the processes that I teach

889
00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:20,330
them that I guide them through and

890
00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:21,950
totally owning it and totally embracing

891
00:37:20,330 --> 00:37:23,930
it as their own and then seeing the

892
00:37:21,950 --> 00:37:26,540
results that they produce in their world

893
00:37:23,930 --> 00:37:28,730
in this era life that's what keeps me

894
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:31,190
going because ultimately it's not about

895
00:37:28,730 --> 00:37:32,810
me I'm just a medium through which this

896
00:37:31,190 --> 00:37:34,280
message is coming through and when I can

897
00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:36,380
see the results that my client has

898
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,730
produced for themselves that's what

899
00:37:36,380 --> 00:37:39,710
makes it rewarding for me that's that

900
00:37:37,730 --> 00:37:43,520
that's what keeps me going and motivated

901
00:37:39,710 --> 00:37:46,070
it's really important to be able to see

902
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,680
the changes that you're capable of

903
00:37:46,070 --> 00:37:49,350
created

904
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:52,980
in others in order to keep that momentum

905
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:56,220
going but having the ability to reframe

906
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:58,980
and deal with the personal internal

907
00:37:56,220 --> 00:38:00,780
dialogue and those pieces for yourself

908
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,220
from watching those changes occur for

909
00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:04,740
others I think it's something that

910
00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:07,140
probably really does help you in terms

911
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:09,390
of that momentum and moving forward the

912
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:11,460
ability to witness those change if you

913
00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:14,790
could wave this magic wand and rid

914
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:16,740
everyone of their inner critic what do

915
00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:19,880
you think the impact would be for the

916
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:23,670
public speaking industry as a whole

917
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:26,790
hmm great I feel like there are so many

918
00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:30,150
gifts that that we have like yourself as

919
00:38:26,790 --> 00:38:32,280
well as the listeners and many people

920
00:38:30,150 --> 00:38:33,690
even know what those potential gifts are

921
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,450
that they have to offer to the world and

922
00:38:33,690 --> 00:38:38,700
then to bring that out into the physical

923
00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:40,590
world and manifesting that you know in

924
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,810
ways that other people can use or in in

925
00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:45,150
ways that that contribute value to the

926
00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:47,910
to the community to the world to people

927
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:50,250
outside of themselves whatever those

928
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:53,100
gifts are then those are just going to

929
00:38:50,250 --> 00:38:56,130
be manifested I had this someone mentor

930
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:57,240
that used to say the you know I'm gonna

931
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:58,620
paraphrase because I don't remember the

932
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:00,210
exact phrase but it's something along

933
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:02,160
the lines of you know what is the

934
00:39:00,210 --> 00:39:04,260
richest place in the world you know is

935
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,510
it the the mines in Africa you know

936
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:08,790
dying where the diamonds are no is it

937
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:13,110
where the gold is no the richest place

938
00:39:08,790 --> 00:39:15,380
in the world is cemeteries and and and

939
00:39:13,110 --> 00:39:20,220
the reason he mentioned that is because

940
00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:23,670
he says how many books were not written

941
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:25,890
how many songs were not composed how

942
00:39:23,670 --> 00:39:29,370
many businesses that could provide value

943
00:39:25,890 --> 00:39:31,020
were never created because the people

944
00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:32,190
were in their own way and you know how

945
00:39:31,020 --> 00:39:33,810
to get out of their way and so those

946
00:39:32,190 --> 00:39:36,480
books were not written that song was not

947
00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:38,580
written so all of the resources all of

948
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,170
the things that we could that we could

949
00:39:38,580 --> 00:39:43,500
as individuals bring out into the world

950
00:39:40,170 --> 00:39:45,330
did not get put out simply because we we

951
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:47,250
either didn't know how to get our own

952
00:39:45,330 --> 00:39:49,260
ways or that inner critic was so

953
00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:51,300
prominent we didn't have processes to

954
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:52,380
get around it and so it wasn't your

955
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:55,890
gifts weren't shared with the world

956
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:57,510
right and so with that magic wand if

957
00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:59,790
everybody could just get rid of the

958
00:39:57,510 --> 00:40:01,890
inner critic and and or at least

959
00:39:59,790 --> 00:40:04,260
how to get around that said it doesn't

960
00:40:01,890 --> 00:40:07,320
stop them anymore the world would look

961
00:40:04,260 --> 00:40:10,350
like a very very different place I was

962
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:12,360
reading recently and that I forget the

963
00:40:10,350 --> 00:40:15,510
exact percentage but it was a very very

964
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:17,820
high percentage of how many people who

965
00:40:15,510 --> 00:40:19,860
are employees in the corporate world are

966
00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:21,540
dissatisfied and disengaged with their

967
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:22,830
own jobs they're there for the Paycheck

968
00:40:21,540 --> 00:40:24,660
they're there just for that you know to

969
00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:27,300
make a living and they're not living

970
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:29,520
their dreams whether the dream is a

971
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:31,380
business or not right the inner critic

972
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:36,240
will get in the way of you manifesting

973
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:37,830
that so I think that by having by by not

974
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:41,370
allowing the inner critic to get in the

975
00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:43,860
way will then give you the space to be

976
00:40:41,370 --> 00:40:45,870
able to pursue those things that you

977
00:40:43,860 --> 00:40:47,640
feel are important in the world and you

978
00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:49,170
feel that that make you happy

979
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:54,650
you know the things that bring you joy

980
00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:58,380
that bring you bliss and if you can now

981
00:40:54,650 --> 00:41:00,600
transmogrify that or or project that out

982
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:02,010
into the future if everybody was to be

983
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,710
able to do that what a different world

984
00:41:02,010 --> 00:41:07,260
it would be I thought it was just to

985
00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:09,770
bring it back as you were paraphrasing

986
00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:14,040
the richest place in the world and and

987
00:41:09,770 --> 00:41:16,380
how much value has been missed I think

988
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:18,860
it's it's definitely something that

989
00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:21,750
everyone be it's someone who is

990
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:24,780
interested in an entrepreneurial journey

991
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:26,610
for those of you who were just listening

992
00:41:24,780 --> 00:41:28,410
because you're just interested in the

993
00:41:26,610 --> 00:41:30,300
show you're not interested in an

994
00:41:28,410 --> 00:41:31,710
entrepreneurial journey but you're

995
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:34,410
thinking about moving forward with

996
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:36,930
something else in life the inner critic

997
00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:38,700
is something that comes up for all of us

998
00:41:36,930 --> 00:41:41,070
no matter what kind of a journey were on

999
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:43,950
the it entrepreneurial or not I can only

1000
00:41:41,070 --> 00:41:46,620
imagine what it would be like if so Mary

1001
00:41:43,950 --> 00:41:48,840
you've been absolutely wonderful I love

1002
00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:51,240
having you on the show I love chatting

1003
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,640
with you please share the best way for

1004
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:55,860
our listeners to find you thank you so

1005
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,420
much I enjoy being on the show it's such

1006
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:59,010
a pleasure to the phone sometimes I

1007
00:41:57,420 --> 00:42:00,840
forget there might even be listeners

1008
00:41:59,010 --> 00:42:03,060
because it's like it's a conversation

1009
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:05,010
between you and I which is a testament

1010
00:42:03,060 --> 00:42:07,380
to what a good host you are so I want to

1011
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:08,400
knowledge you as well thank you thank

1012
00:42:07,380 --> 00:42:12,500
you thank you

1013
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,500
so my website is

1014
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:20,370
I'm calm magnetic podium is one word and

1015
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:22,950
one of the best ways to get in touch

1016
00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:25,800
with me I would suggest is when you go

1017
00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:28,050
to my website magnetic podium calm in

1018
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:31,020
the upper right hand corner the menu if

1019
00:42:28,050 --> 00:42:32,580
you hover over contact there's a contact

1020
00:42:31,020 --> 00:42:34,950
form which you could fill out in text or

1021
00:42:32,580 --> 00:42:37,680
you can click on schedule a call with

1022
00:42:34,950 --> 00:42:39,330
Mary and then you can schedule a

1023
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,520
complimentary short call fifteen to

1024
00:42:39,330 --> 00:42:43,260
thirty minute call to see if there is a

1025
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,850
way that I can help you I would love to

1026
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:46,740
learn about you know what your

1027
00:42:44,850 --> 00:42:49,320
challenges are what your goals are

1028
00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:53,130
whether it's around public speaking or

1029
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:54,330
just getting more clarity in general you

1030
00:42:53,130 --> 00:42:56,160
know some of the things we spoke about

1031
00:42:54,330 --> 00:42:57,750
on the podcast if it resonates with you

1032
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:00,180
I would love to see if there's any way

1033
00:42:57,750 --> 00:43:03,570
that I can help you we will be sure to

1034
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:06,510
link to magnetic podium comm and we will

1035
00:43:03,570 --> 00:43:10,170
be sure to link to the specific page to

1036
00:43:06,510 --> 00:43:11,880
sign up for the book so that if you in

1037
00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:14,430
fact didn't get a chance to check that

1038
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,770
link out during the last episode we will

1039
00:43:14,430 --> 00:43:19,560
be sure that that link is there present

1040
00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:23,280
yourself in public speaking and also a

1041
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:25,320
link to contact you know a link to the

1042
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,510
direct contact page to contact you so

1043
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:29,310
get in touch if you're interested in the

1044
00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:32,250
boot camp that is coming up December

1045
00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:35,760
ninth and tenth Saturday and Sunday I

1046
00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:38,220
will be there with Mary for this boot

1047
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,740
camp so we look forward to seeing all of

1048
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:42,780
you there Mary thank you again and I

1049
00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:44,310
look forward to hanging up soon thanks

1050
00:43:42,780 --> 00:43:45,960
Laurie I'm so excited to see you in

1051
00:43:44,310 --> 00:43:48,000
December as well thanks for having me

1052
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,740
Mary thank you once again for joining us

1053
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,990
this week I am super excited about

1054
00:43:49,740 --> 00:43:53,640
joining you for your two-day present

1055
00:43:51,990 --> 00:43:55,740
yourself in public speaking boot camp

1056
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,300
this weekend techie community thank you

1057
00:43:55,740 --> 00:43:59,820
guys for hanging out with us for this

1058
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:02,070
episode and be sure to join Mary Ann I

1059
00:43:59,820 --> 00:44:04,530
live in Bluebird Mass for her to Day

1060
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:04,980
present yourself in public speaking boot

1061
00:44:04,530 --> 00:44:07,200
camp

1062
00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:08,700
December 9th and 10th I've included a

1063
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:11,220
link in the show notes page for easy

1064
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:14,370
access you can reach out to Mary via her

1065
00:44:11,220 --> 00:44:15,960
website at magnetic podium comm you can

1066
00:44:14,370 --> 00:44:17,570
also register and reach out to Mary

1067
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:21,270
through our show notes page at

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technology - quality comm forward slash

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your talents thank you once again for

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joining us for this episode number

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74 and until our next episode when we

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continue to hear the journey find the

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pain and create solutions enjoy the beat

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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00:45:03,890 --> 00:45:05,950
you

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